American Idol

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:16 pm

I guess this is probably gonna be me and Cappy here.

All the guys suck ass, though Chris "Jack Osbourne" Sligh is the best of the worst.

Of the girls, Gina is interesting, and could be good if she stuck with rock. Jordin was pretty good until this week, when she sucked more ass than Snigtad's Uncle Rodger. Lakisha was a tie for the best until this week, when she was a little subpar.

My money is on Melinda, no matter how incredibly fugly she is. That girl can sing. Period. Last night, she fucking nailed it to the wall.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:40 pm

This show blows monkey dick

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:48 pm

kidhuman wrote:This show blows monkey dick

Ditto.

or Word.

Whatever works for you.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:42 pm

I like word, Homeslice.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 6:48 pm

The most interesting thing this season was the photos of the blowjob.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Thu Mar 08, 2007 7:16 pm

That little tart is hot like tamales.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:32 am

Haley is this season's Kat McPhee.

She's boring as fuck, but I'd do her until she sang better.

Bizarro The Grin · Post by **Bizarro The Grin** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:28 am

sANJAYA RULES!!

i HOPE AND PRAY HE SOMEHOW DENIES HIS TRUE NATURE AND HAS A BABY ONE DAY.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:39 am

Okay, a little further into the competition now, Solo, o ye who are the only other person reading this, so new predictions.

Melinda will, or at least should, win. She may be the fugliest thing this side of Slicker's Mom, but the woman can sing. I didn't even add the boldface. Something about putting her name and the word sing in the same sentence, and the computer instinctively does that for you.

Gina is a total fraud. She dresses and talks like she's this badass rocker, but she's more Britney than Joan. She fucked up bad last night, which is sad. "Paint It, Black" is one of the greatest songs ever, and the arrangement was stellar. What was with changing the end of the song? (Going from "I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky" to "I wanna see the sun flying high in the sky" is an unforgiveable mistake or a retarded substitution.) And the crying when she got bad criticism. To paraphrase Tom Hanks, "There's no crying in rock and roll!"

LaKisha is still one of the three best, no question, but this is two weeks in a row where Melinda really, really outshone her. I could actually see her get voted off.

Blake... Ugh. Where to begin? The guy blows. Seriously. I saw him down at the docks, turning tricks for crack. The beatboxing is ridiculous, and was played out the second time he did it. What he did to "Time of the Season" should be a capital crime. He needs to go on Wheel of Fortune with Hasbro when they introduce the "Gorilla Buttfuck." And the wheel needs to be weighted so that it keeps landing on that space.

Haley is... well, she is. She's trying to be Kat McPhee, but lacks even her meager talent. And she's trying too hard to be sexy. That outfit last night wasn't even sexy. It was just stupid. She's a cute girl, but, well, she can't sing too well, and she seems to be sexy-impaired.

Jordin was second best last night. She kind of goes back and forth between second and third with LaKisha. And she gets a bit cuter each episode. Last night, she finally hit "I'd do her without benefit of alcohol."

Phil and Chris, like all the guys, suck. I can only remember them this week because Phil is this bald troll guy and Chris more because I was flabbergasted that Simon said he didn't know "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying." How can you be English and not know that song? Douche.

Stephanie is also damned forgettable.

Chris 2, well, something about a dude who looks like the son of the Prince of Darkness, but attended Bob Jones University, seems like some breakdown of the laws of time and space.

And the worst for last: Sanjaya. How the fuck is he still there? C'mon! He makes Justin Guarini look straight and talented. Last night was an abomination, and I hope the Davies brothers appear on the show tonight and the entire broadcast is just them repeatedly bitch-slapping him.

The thing with the little girl crying? Hmmm. She's seated in the first row, in front of producer Simon Fuller, and among a bunch of other celebrities. The camera immediately zooms in on her. She cries, stops crying, starts again, yadda yadda. More than once she appeared to not know she was on camera, and was talking nonchalantly rather than crying.

Can you say "Staged"? If not, you probably voted for Sanjaya last night because you're a fucktard.

Lousy as he is, I hope he makes it to the top four. Why? Because Melinda, LaKisha, and Jordin should be the top three, and everyone else is totally disposable. The camera loves to show Sanjaya's sister and, let's face it, she's easier on the eyes than any of the contestants remaining at this point, unibrow or no. And she had her cleavage hanging out bigtime last night. Why didn't she make it on instead of her doofy-ass brother? The show's stylists could've shaven the bitch down!

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:17 pm

Yawwwwnnnnnnnnnn...

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:50 pm

Sanjaya's sister also has a forehead bigger than the damn stage, but she's still pretty hot. Them titties was shakin all over the place last night; they should've shown her more than that stupid-ass crying girl.

Sanjaya's performance was just . . . painful, to say the least. Usually he's so fuckin' quiet you can't hear him, and now he's added "yelling but not actually singing" to his repertoire. And the kid's gayer than Snigtad, too.

Melinda is fugly, what with the lack of any discernable neck whatsoever adding to the problem. But she is really the only one who can sing consistently well week after week. They keep comparing her with Lakisha, but it seems like they have to have a huge-ass black lady who sings that kind of music every year, and none of them really stand out (Mandisa, Frenchie, Mrs. Butterworth, etc.).

Gina is probably the hottest girl on the show, but that really ain't saying much for this year. She seems to have gotten progressively worse since the show started, since she used to be pretty good.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 9:33 am

Sorry to disappoint, Chux, but I've pretty much given up on watching AI. With all the bullshit going on with "Vote for the Worst" and the shit Howard Stern is pulling, it kinda makes the show retarded. I mean, props to VftW and Stern for throwing a monkey wrench into the ginormous "Idol" wheels, but it doesn't make for good watching.

Still, I do follow it and read alot of the reviews. As it stands now, my money is on LaKisha (though that prediction is biased, since she's from Flint

).

Once Sanjaya is gone, though, I may get back into the show. One of my biggest issues with this season (the Sanjaya issue aside) is that so many of these peole are completely forgettable. I recognize their faces as being on AI, but have no idea what their names are or what they've sang in shows past. Obviously there are exceptions (LaKisha, Melinda, Blake), but for the most part there's "the black girl", "the white chick" and "the bald guy".

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 11:51 pm

Anyone else get pissed when really rich people ask you to donate to charity?

Don't get me wrong. It's a good thing to give to those in need, and I try to do so as I'm able.

And most of the celebrities who appeared tonight probably fall into that "Well off, but not nearly as rich as most people will assume they are just because they're on TV" category.

But for fucking Madonna and Simon Cowell to go to Africa and film clips of themselves surrounded by starving, dying kids, asking us to help? When either of them could give up 1% of their fortune and provide food and medicine for everyone in the damned continent for three years?

That pisses me off. It's like Bill Gates. "I'm still richer than God even imagined, but I'm going to give 1/1,000,000th of my money to charity and get a lot of attention for it."

Slimmie · Post by **Slimmie** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:13 am

And then they didn't even kick anyone off. It's like "Hah, we made you sit through 2 hours of comercials (which we got paid millions to run), laid on a guilt trip to get you to donate your hard earned cash, and now we will make you wait until next week for the results." Fuck that show. Donate some money to me, you greedy fucks.

Post by **vynsane** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 8:06 am

CaptainSolo1138 wrote:Sorry to disappoint, Chux, but I've pretty much given up on watching AI. With all the bullshit going on with "Vote for the Worst" and the shit Howard Stern is pulling, it kinda makes the show retarded.

the show was retarded long before those two things...

anarky wrote:Anyone else get pissed when really rich people ask you to donate to charity?

Don't get me wrong. It's a good thing to give to those in need, and I try to do so as I'm able.

And most of the celebrities who appeared tonight probably fall into that "Well off, but not nearly as rich as most people will assume they are just because they're on TV" category.

But for fucking Madonna and Simon Cowell to go to Africa and film clips of themselves surrounded by starving, dying kids, asking us to help? When either of them could give up 1% of their fortune and provide food and medicine for everyone in the damned continent for three years?

you think simon is that rich? i actually was in the same room while the wife was watching it, and i was impressed to hear that ellen degeneres was donating $100,000. that's cool. and that jack black was there and sang "kiss from a rose" from the batman forever soundtrack: "the most emotional of all the batman movies" - that guy's awesome. too bad he was on the show.