Make our own EU

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:40 am

General Rieeken was actually an under cover Imperial spy. His hairpiece was comprised of fiber-optic cameras that gave the Imperial troops complete schematics of the Echo base.

Upon being debriefed by Palpatine, Rieeken was forced to answer questions about why he so frequently gave in to his urge to look through Torryn Farr's underwear drawer.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:39 am

The New Death Star was going to be more of a giant moveable hospital and research ship charged with ridding the galaxy of cancer and disease. There had been several PBS and History Channel specials about it leading up to its construction. Most of the Galaxy was looking forward to its construction.

The Ewok delegation invited Palpatine to build the new Death Star around their forest moon because they thought it would bring a boost to their economy. The fake Senator Grebleips seconded the motion.

Senator Grebleips was actually a chickenwire and clay construction that had baby ewoks inside controlling him because ewoks secretly wanted more power in the senate.

The ewoks living in the forest were the equivalent of West Virginian mountain folk, inbred cretins, so they had no idea what was going on.

Mon Mothma started the Rebellion because Palpatine had called her "a fugly cow" at cotillion and she never forgot, vowing Palpatine would "rue the day".

Mon Mothma is a notorious racist who hates jews and therefore hates Ponda Baba. She laughed when she heard his arm got cut off saying "Stupid Jew Aqualish. Ha ha ha. I hate him."

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:06 pm

Dak didn't join the rebellion to rid the galaxy of the Empire. He joined because he was tired of living with his grandmother and her 38 lizard monkeys.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:25 pm

Ponda Baba was useless as an enforcer after ANH. He finally wound up working as "entertainment" in a gay bar on Kessel. His act involved stripping to En Vogue's "(My Loving) Never Gonna Get It," and shoving his stump into his mouth. As Aqualish mouths look like buttholes, this always went over well. He eventually met Crix Madine (recently fired from the Rebellion for disclosing his sexual preference), and the two were married on Naboo.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:57 pm

anarky wrote:Ponda Baba eventually met Crix Madine (recently fired from the Rebellion for disclosing his sexual preference), and the two were married on Naboo.

Was it a Jewish ceremony?

The Cow · Post by **The Cow** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 11:53 am

MOOOOOOOOO!!

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:18 am

Eternal Padawan wrote:Was it a Jewish ceremony?

Of course. Crix had to convert from Catholicism.

The Cow was the Jedi Master who trained Yoda.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:56 am

Yoda never actually heard Qui-Gon's voice; he was just fucking crazy. He and Obi-Wan spent the next 19 years reading books on how to become ghosts, which, as it turns out, is actually pretty easy. After Obi-Wan finished the books he would use Planet Express to ship them to Dagobah.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 12:56 pm

EU name or European?

Laca Cunti

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:53 am

Rogue II wrote:EU name or European?

Laca Cunti

Well SOMEBODY done went and got themselves teased all through school...imagine the teachers embarrassment when calling roll on the day Laca was home sick.

"Cunti? ....Cunti?.....Cunti?...."

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:15 pm

Who needs to make it up, when morons name characters after Seinfeld characters?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 11:48 pm

My 2 year old wanted to play with star wars toys today. She started making up roles for a few of them. Baby Elephant(Max Rebo) plays the piano but he was looking for his mommy (ASP Droid). His daddy is R1-G4. The baby elephant likes to play with the bunny (Oola). And finally, the dirty Dagobah R2-D2 is bad.

Didn't make sense to me either, but neither does have of the other EU.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:29 am

Rogue II wrote:My 2 year old wanted to play with star wars toys today. She started making up roles for a few of them. Baby Elephant(Max Rebo) plays the piano but he was looking for his mommy (ASP Droid). His daddy is R1-G4. The baby elephant likes to play with the bunny (Oola). And finally, the dirty Dagobah R2-D2 is bad.

Didn't make sense to me either, but neither does have of the other EU.

That ranks amongst the most sensical plot lines in the past ten years.

Sleazer · Post by **Sleazer** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:54 am

Rogue 2 should publish that so Slicker can enjoy it as well...he's a fan of quality EU as well.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:59 am

FX-7 was a deranged, obsessed fan of the famous medical assistant droid, FX-6. He had surgery to make himself look like FX-6. He was originally a Gungan. It was really extensive surgery.

the vynsane asylum

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