The Transformers movie poll!

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:52 am

I might be lucky here - I know so little about it that I might not be bothered by some of those things (new characters for example - I can only name about 10 Transformers characters anyhow, and wouldn't know who was created only for the movie).

Lame humor is lame humor - it'll either work or it won't. Basing your movie on the assumption that I'm an idiot won't (check out The Barnyard sometime - it's a terrible animated kids movie where the "cows" have udders, but are all male. I nearly shit my pants).

I have to research Michael Bay a bit as well - I'm quick to hack on him, but other than the remakes of some horror movies (that I'd NEVER watch, I don't even watch the originals) I have no idea what else he's done.

EDITED: Having had a quick look, I can now honestly say I've been victimized by more than a couple of these pieces of shit: Armageddon, Pearl Harbor and The Rock (even though that has a pretty good score) and can now feel fully confident about saying he sucks ass. I had been quick to blame Jerry Bruckheimer for a lot of that tripe.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 10:02 am

HBO has a half hour "First Look" transformers show. Not sure why they called it "first look", because the only 'bots they really showed were Bumblebee and some clips of Starscream blowing stuff up (or whoever the F-22 is supposed to be). They barely showed Optimus Prime, and they showed Scorpinox come out of the sand.

It was pretty much Bay babbling on about his vision, the actors talking about the physical challenge and how Bay knows action films.

Devastator · Post by **Devastator** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:24 am

DEVASTATOR!!!!

DEVASTATOR SEE THIS MOVIE LAST NIGHT AT PREMIERE, HO HO HO HO!!

FOR RECORD, THAT NOT DEVASTATOR IN MOVIE!!!

DEVASTATOR INSULTED! DEVASTATOR GO TO PUT MASSIVE METAL COCK IN SENOR MICHAEL BAY'S ASSHOLE, NON?

FORM BLAZING DILDO!!

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:05 pm

to elaborate a little on something I posted elsewheres

From the initial, seemingly almost fucking PAID for good reviews I've seen posted I've been able to gather hits:

The robots in the film (robots, I will NOT call them "Transformers" even by accident, not even while intoxicated) are not really in it much. The ones that ARE in it the most are ones that are either totally "made up" or fucked up so badly that they didn't even have to be licensed beyond the actual names (someome commented about that elsewheres too), in response to someone saying it was "cool to see bumblebee as a badass"- WTF???? how bout if Prime was a flaming homosexual, or perhaps if he were made of wicker by some kind of lost tribe and not a robot at ALL?!?!? What is the fuckin point of "characters" if all it really means is a name?? This is kinda why I hate the EU in SW, the whole "it's neat to actually find out what Hammerhead does in his spare time" NO IT'S FUCKING NOT okay I'll stop)

So despite this property having very little robot action, no robot characters, and a shitty soundtrack, SOMEHOW the fuckin movie is SO GOOD that all that doesn't matter??

Add to that the fact that thanks to a certain numbnutz (who's post I actually READ for some fuckin reason, even tho I usually don't and could NOT care les about this travesty) I know every fucking spoiler and NONE of it does anything for me- ?I mean seriously, when Transformers died it practically blew my fuckin mind, back in the day, but having scenes with that kind of "weight" featuring what are essentially non-entities just seems stupid to me

WORST fuckin part is I am now developing a sense of morbid curiousity regarding this piece of shit and I have a sinking feeling that I'm actually gonna be in a theatre sometime in the next days, if only to have something to contribute to the "discussion"...

It'd be kinda like takin a bullet for youse

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:02 pm

mabudon wrote: It'd be kinda like takin a bullet for youse

Don't do it, man. Don't be a hero. You'd be throwing your life away.

Besides, it would contribute to the overall opening weekend take and encourage other directors to make other terd movies loosley based off of 80s cartoons.

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:16 pm

i love tycho's weird interlude about his date. first of all, why the hell bring a date to this movie? whatever. he's a tool.

i'm glad that there are items to enjoy in this movie, but i'm still not even close to swayed into seeing this in the theater. maybe i'll netflix it when it comes out on dvd.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:23 pm

i love tycho's weird interlude about his date.

It was hard not commenting on that shit, totally surreal, I was both totally dumbfounded yet fully not surprised

And RogueII, I'll make sure Ange reads that post, fuckin funny man

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:31 pm

Just now on the news, they were interviewing people coming out of the theater. A few talked about how great it was, and they were total trannie tools. Everyone else said it was slow, and didn't deal with the title characters enough.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:09 pm

Y'know, I was kinda wondering where the son of a bitch got to.

http://movies.yahoo.com/mvc/dfrv?mid=18 ... WDiqggoA--

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:18 pm

fuckin' awesome.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:22 pm

That was perhaps the best review ever. Way to dig that up for us, Chux!

Can someone cut n' paste Tycho's "interlude" here? I want to read it but will not unignore any of his posts over there for a second.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:27 pm

Hope you don't mind, T-Dog.

I left a bit on the end about muting girls, even though he was seguing back into the review.

My date? I could tell she wasn't interested in this movie from the outset. She said she was going to the ladies' room before the previews started. She got back an hour into the movie, saying she hadn't felt well. I didn't go running after her. She was on her cell phone in the lobby, I'm sure of it. But she played "sick" or "sleepy" during the rest of the movie (I don't know how she could have understood it from the part where she came in at anyway). And so her only reaction was to ask me if I liked it. Girls - I swear. This didn't surprise me at all. And you might think I am callous or show no sympathy. That's right. I'd decided that I was going to enjoy this film and if EMTs had even taken her to a hospital, I'd go visit her after the movie. I wasn't moving! Some guys would say I didn't know how to handle myself on a date. I'd say I've had many more dates and experiences than some other guys. That was not going to fly. I'd have even attended her funeral only after I saw this movie I'd been waiting for 23 years to be made!

I think she was sullen about my priorities, but I got everything I wanted out of my evening and I AM a jerk (or is it really that there is something self-centered and wrong (or ALSO wrong) with ladies and I just don't fall for that crap any more (haven't for years). I'm sure she was 1) talking to some other guy who was paying more attention to her than I was 2) talking to her girlfriends about how unemotionally invested in her I was (this is also embarassing to a girl) and then 3) Guess what? She's staying the night to show me how much more interesting she is. *cough-cough* (Well I hope she doesn't wake up and read over my shoulder, else I'll be in trouble, but it's safe to say I can post almost anonymously here).

As long as we're talking about girls, let's bring up Mikaela (Megan Fox). Her body is THAT hot, but I don't think she's that pretty actually. On my "Kristin Kruek scale" Megan falls short. Her acting was mediocre and her voice kind of annoying. Actually, I've also experienced dating many a girl who I can't stand listening to them talk. Remember how BumbleBee is muted for most of the movie? Girls should come that way as well... The other girl in the film, the blonde "Rachael," had a British accent! She could have narrated the whole movie and I would have liked it.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:48 pm

Thanks, 'Nark. I'd like to analyze this a bit. Sorry to break topic.

My date? I could tell she wasn't interested in this movie from the outset. She said she was going to the ladies' room before the previews started.

What a surprise. She was, after all, attending a shitty movie with a pretentious homosexual.

She got back an hour into the movie, saying she hadn't felt well. I didn't go running after her.

Because she didn't have a penis.

She was on her cell phone in the lobby, I'm sure of it. But she played "sick" or "sleepy" during the rest of the movie (I don't know how she could have understood it from the part where she came in at anyway).

A) The scent of your masculinity must've been making her nauseas and B) How could she possibly understand anything as well as you?!

And so her only reaction was to ask me if I liked it. Girls - I swear.

Can anyone else hear him saying that like Jack from "Will and Grace"? I thought so.

Some guys would say I didn't know how to handle myself on a date.

I haven't been on enough dates with men. Sorry.

I'd say I've had many more dates and experiences than some other guys.

Well I bet thothe thilly bitcheth are jealouth!

I think she was sullen about my priorities,

Cock?

but I got everything I wanted out of my evening

Yep, cock.

I just don't fall for that crap any more (haven't for years).

Guys aren't like that I guess.

I'm sure she was 1) talking to some other guy who was paying more attention to her than I was

"Paying more attention to"= "Trying to fuck"

2) talking to her girlfriends about how unemotionally invested in her I was (this is also embarassing to a girl)

Or maybe that you're just a total douche. I don't know.

3) Guess what? She's staying the night to show me how much more interesting she is. *cough-cough*

ZOMG!!! A girl?! In your bed?!?!?! I bet you're the first person that's ever happened to!

(Well I hope she doesn't wake up and read over my shoulder, else I'll be in trouble, but it's safe to say I can post almost anonymously here).

After the sound thrashing a totally straight, testosterone-fueled gent like yourself gave her twat I'm sure she's out for days! Post on, you crazy devil! P.S. Your secret identity is safe with me, Josh! Oops! lolz

Diabolical · Post by **Diabolical** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:24 pm

On comingsoon.net's "What did you think about Transformers?" page, I counted a total of 6 negative reviews.

Here is an example of a positive review:

All my six of my girl friends....!!!!!!!!are transformers. This movie fely like I was a CGI gollum or something.
The Special FX was out of this control. I cannot wait for the upcoming Indian Jones movie so I can see Megatron get down with him bad self. Swear Word$#$@!!~@#%
Go see this movie at a theather not a DVD cgi

Posted by JimmyNeutronismyBro | July 3, 2007 10:35 AM

Indian Jones.

'Nuff said.

Snigtad Flornbi · Post by **Snigtad Flornbi** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:46 pm

yea i haev ben busy fuckin chicks and such, busy as a six-ass man at a gay orgie convencion WHICH IS NOT TO SAY A SIX-ASS MAN HEAR WITH U FAGGS!!!!

ha ha ha stelth burn u did n't evan see it coming, u can smel the burn on ur breathe if u get the dick out ur mouth long engouh!!!

the vynsane asylum

The Transformers movie poll!

The Transformers movie is going to....