Look, man, I did nail your mother while she was all tied up. Keep in mind that she may have died of starvation before you got there if it wasn't for me. Really, It was a win-win situation. I got what I wanted, and she got some nourishment in protein form.
The Grin wrote:
One day, my dog was sick. I called the vet, and he told me to take The Growl's temperature. I said told him my dog would never keep that thermometer in his mouth. The vet said, "That's why you need to take it rectally." Now, The Growl is a rather tough dog, and he doesn't like like things going near his back door. But, there is no way I could hold him with one hand and take the temp with the other. So, I had an idea. I taped the thermometer to my shaft, and held the dog with both hands...
To honor the return of Bizarro The Grin, here is another page from his diary:
Bizarro The Grin wrote:
tODAY, bIZZARO tHE gRIP AND i POSED AS SKYDIVING INSTRUCTORS. hE FLEW THE PLANE AND i RODE IN BACK WITH THE OTHER DIVERS. dOUBLE g'S DADDY WAS AMONG THEM. wE FLEW AROUND AND EVERY ONE HAD JUMPED EXCEPT FOR dOUBLE g'S FATHER. hE WAS AFRAID TO JUMP AND i DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. i ASKED bIZZARO tHE gRIP FOR SOME ADVICE. hE TOLD ME TO TELL HIM THAT HE EITHER NEEDS TO JUMP NOW OR HE'S GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS." wE LANDED AND i MET bIZZARO tHE gRIP AFTER HE FINISHED HIS POST FLIGHT PLANE CHECK. hE ASKED ME,"dID ZEE pAPA DE dOUBLE g EFINALLY JUMP?"i SAID, "A LITTLE AT FIRST, BUT HE GOT USED TO IT."
tO HELP tHE gRIN ON HIS MODERATORIAL CAMPAIGN, AND IN MEMORY OF eTERNAL pADAWAN, HERE'S A BIT FROM his DIARY, FOR A CHANGE:
I went to console EP's mom last night, and got there a little early. She was in the bathroom. Apparently, she had one of The Grip's pubes stuck in her teeth, and was having a hard time getting it out, as she still had the handcuffs on.
So I sat down to watch some TV while I waited. It looks like Paula Deen has a new show, called "Paula's Party." They didn't show the real party, though, the one in Paula's pants. I was kinda surprised she's still around, as much butter and fried crap as she eats. Hell, the only time she gave me head, I had to slather my johnson in mayonnaise first.
Very and truly, my good doppelganger. While the man who does the asking asks the quesiton of the ones who are questioned, I must interject most readily that the man who does the interjecting is, in the manner of truth, the actual Captain Jack Sparrow.
So what say you, grinning scallawags? Are you men enough to brave the perils of the sea to reap the treasures that abound therein?
Hmmm, seems like pirates have invaded this thread. Well, I guess it is somewhat appropriate because Bizarro The Grin is such a big butt pirate and has been known to swashbuckle.
