People are dumb

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 5:25 pm

And here's proof!

My boss's sister has a pet bird. She taught it to say phrases by repeating them. It can say "Pretty birdie" and "Praise the Lord," because she's apparently really, really devout.

But it's just a dumb animal mimicking sounds. And, being a dumb animal, it get confused. So sometimes it says, "Praise the birdie!" And apparently the lady gets offended and punishes the bird because she thinks it's blaspheming.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sat Jul 23, 2005 5:09 pm

That's funny. I'd like to think that the bird is smarter than the lady, and that's it is saying those things on purpose, just to pay her back for keeping the damned bird in the cage.

"Rawwk! Jesus cunt Christ! Rawwwwwwk!"

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 12:09 am

Wanna hear stupid(read at least)

On my job, a lady asked where she was calling too, I said Virginia.

She asked if that was near San Diego........

I told another guy to hold the power button down on his Sat. Rcvr to reset the box, he answered on which remote......

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 10:52 pm

So I get a phone call from this complete fuckin moron yesterday.

He tells me his remote got hit by lightning.

I then ask him if it happened to be outside at the time

He replied no, in his living room.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 1:25 pm

Little more PROOF for y'all
This weekend was a "holiday weekend" and our provincial police like to do these "safety blitzes" on such occasions
they try to pull over vehicles randomly on their way north to cottage country and do on-the-spot safety checks, and usually they manage to take a surprising number of vehicles off the road for being unsafe in some way or another (interesting statistic from this one- 11 out of 15 U-haul trucks were not roadworthy, according to police)

Anyways, of all the folks they caught one really stood out- his car had that white paint in the back window, proclaiming "FOR SALE- NEEDS BRAKES"
On inspection, it turned out that the advertisement was true [beard]
What a fucking MAROON, eh?? Wonder if he had a bong filled up with Premium in the trunk

Bizarro Mabudon · Post by **Bizarro Mabudon** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:20 pm

aM TRUE THAT PEOPLE AM BE DUMB. bUT ME AM BE SMART. mE AM PUT SIGN IN BACK OF CAR. pOLICE AM PROUD OF bIZARRO mABUDON FOR TELL THEM BRAKES NOT WORK.

bIZarRO jJrEasoN · Post by **bIZarRO jJrEasoN** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:10 pm

mosT lIkelY bizARRo poLIce aM sO pRoud theM giVe bizaRRo MabuDon loTs of druGs.

Snigtad Flornbi · Post by **Snigtad Flornbi** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 4:13 pm

Your dumb

mustard man · Post by **mustard man** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 5:20 pm

your idiodicer!!![:P]!!!!!!!!!!

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 1:06 pm

Diggin' up old threads Caesar-style!

Here's a new one:

There's a company in the database at work that has a note in the street address field: "Do not send mail to street address." This woman here not only sent mail, but sent it to:

Contact
Company
Do not send mail to street address
City, State Zip

D'OH!!

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:31 pm

OK, it was the night before Thanksgiving and this com[plete schmuck calls in. He is bitching about his HD system and how he isnt getting local channels in HD. I told him his antennae was out of allignment and he needed ot readjust it. HE bitched and moaned for 20 minutes and then I told him to hook his off air antennae directly to his TV and see if he gets the channels and call back. Odds are I wouldnt have ot deal with him again.....

WRONG

He calls back 20 minutes later and I get the fuckin lucky call. He states he wasnt getting it on his TV either and I tell him that his antennae needs to be realligned. He tells me I am wrong. I tell him, if it doesnt work on 2 seperate components than the antennae is the issue. He then proceeds ot ask me why he can not add channels he already has. I proceed to tell him you can not add what you already have. He doesnt understand it. I then say "Listen, tomorrow at dinner, your mother in law is at your table eating Thanksgiving dinner. Someone knocks on your door, you answer it. Can it be your mother in law??
He doesnt answer, so I reply "NO!!!, because she is there already and cant be at the door waiting to come in." He then calls me an asshole and hangs up...God I love pissing people off.

Post by **vynsane** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:39 pm

ah, the decline of customer service...

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:44 pm

Dude I fuck with people royally. They will call in screaming "I lost my channels." so I will ask them if they looked behind the couch.

One lady said her TV kept changing to a snowy screen. SO i asked her if Carol-ann was her daughter. (she got real pissed).

A customer got Lava Pajama Boy good one day. He asked for the customers name and the customer replied"Why do you need my name, dont you have one of your own?"

bizarro JediTricks · Post by **bizarro JediTricks** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 6:17 pm

KH, you are a foul-mouthed fellow when the autocensor isn't around, but I can't say I'm surprised. That goes for you, too, anarky. (Long time, no see. [;)])

I'm a little shocked that this has been under my nose all this time. I finally got around to clicking that link in darthvyn's signature line and I'm at a loss for words at the level of filth and depravity here. I kind of like it. It will give a whole new meaning to all the posts at the other site about who Gray Leader was.

I'm not sure about kidhuman remaining a moderator at the other site, though. [:p]

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 6:36 pm

Welcome JT, enjoy your visit.