happy new year!

[anarky]

Hey, Zaphod, how's the ass?

Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt you, Disembodied Voice. Keep on plowing.

[Disembodied Voice]

NO PROBLEM. IT'S AMAZING HOW BIG MY COCK IS WHEN I MYSELF AM OTHERWISE COMPLETELY NON-CORPOREAL. ZAPHOD'S GONE THROUGH A WHOLE CONTAINER OF VASELINE, AND I HAVEN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO FINISHING.

BUMBLEBEE, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT A FEW MINUTES AND LET ZAPHOD USE A TOWEL, UNLESS YOU LIKE THE IDEA OF USING BLOOD AS A LUBRICANT. YOU'RE STILL NEXT, THOUGH, AND THE ASSFUCKFEST IS STILL QUITE YOUNG.

[Zaphod]

there's a party in my asshole!


(sorry, this was the first image that came up when i searched for "party in my asshole." clearly, though, it's inside chester a arthur's asshole, not mine. nice and roomy in there, and we have this n-sync knock off band.)

[Dell Rusk]

And a happy new year to you, too, Zaphod, old chap! May the joy that comes with our beloved saviour's birth fill your life this Boxing Day season.

[Ben Reilly]

I knew it! You fucking liberals take something that's a staple of traditional conservative values, like the new year, and turn it into a goddamned gay faggot pride parade.

You disgust me.

If you want to get back in my good graces, go volunteer for Santorum, and get your hands dirty working him. Of course, you sick fucks probably will see some double meaning in that and think it's got to do with the gay as well.

[The Growl]

Not into butts at all. At least not human butts. I tried sniffing a few, but they all smell alike. Not like us dogs, where the aroma of ass can tell you anything about a new canine.

That leg is mine, though. Oyes!

[The Goat]

I am a simple goat, but I will be more than happy to make sweet love to Zaphod's ass.


BAAAAAAAA!!!

[Venkman]

Rob said he was too busy being awesome and busy to have Surprise Buttsecks, so I could take his turn in Zaphod's bum. I'm so lucky!! I'm like the Matt Flynn to Rob's Aaron Rodgers!! I'm gonna be the best buttfucker ever! Oops! I mean the second best! Rob Liefeld is the best at everything! He even plays golf better than Kim Jong Il! You're so amazing Rob! I dream about you!!

[Rob Liefeld]

Bull. Shit.

I never pass up the chance at surprise buttsecks!

Venkman, you are truly a stupid n****r.

[Rob Liefeld]

I mean, really, Venkman, how could you, of all people, forget how much I love surprise buttsecks? How often do I text you and, when you're bending over because you still keep your iPhone in your boot for some reason, WHAM! there's some surprise buttsecks for you? That's at least, what, five times a week.

It's okay, though, because I'll tell you a secret. You know when you were taking your turn with Zaphod's forbidden fruits and you felt something like a rush of wind on your buttcheeks followed by a firm Hebrew National tickling the inside of your colon? Guess what? SURPRISE BUTTSECKS!!

You too, The Cow.

[Snake Eyes]

[anarky]

What's that expression again?

Oh yeah.

"A real fucking zoo."

[anarky]

go fuck yourself.

You owe Zero three bucks.

[Zero]

go fuck yourself.

You owe Zero three bucks.

HA HA!
YEAH YOU DO!

PAY UP, BITCH.