G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Short of painting or packaging something differently, there's really not a whole lot they can do in the span of nine months to change the line. From what I understand, it usually takes a year to 18 months for a figure to get from initial designs to the store shelves.

[Ran]

I'm going to call bullshit on them sending back the toys. The cost to ship all those boxes back to Hasbro from every Target, Walmart, and TRU would be crazy. Then, Hasbro would have to store all of it somewhere for 8 months. Besides, the first wave of stuff is still up on hasbrotoyshop.

The only movie items I've seen so far were the motorcycles and some role-playing stuff. I'm just looking to get that one 3-pack, the Red Ninja, and either the Hiss tank or Cobra Commander.

[jjreason]

Someone posted on the Canadian site that they have been taking down the signs and only empty spaces are observable now where this poo used to be. I can't imagine how expensive a screwup this is going to turn out to be.

[anarky]

Short of painting or packaging something differently, there's really not a whole lot they can do in the span of nine months to change the line. From what I understand, it usually takes a year to 18 months for a figure to get from initial designs to the store shelves.

That's the thing. Right now, a wave snuck out to discount stores (so far only showing up at Dollar General) on generic cards. It's all repaints and kitbashes. Thing is, they're repaints and kitbashes people have literally begged for for years. People were looking forward to those more than the actual Retaliation figures. And people have always wanted Cobra Troop Builders in variant colors.

GIJoe has always been about repaints and kitbashes. There were also a lot of figures who either were distributed so poorly that most people couldn't get them, or that never got released.

I'm dead serious here. If I was doing this, after muttering the words "fuck Paramount" thirty times, I'd get someone designing a generic card. They take less time. Close to no time, in fact. Then I'd design the waves. Let's say three waves before March, with six figures each. Give 'em some accessories, but not the insane level the 30th Anniversary line had. Okay, here's just spitballing:

Wave 1:
Camouflage Cobra Trooper (POC/30th repaint)
Crimson Guard (a new non-movie Retaliation figure based on a classic troop builder, already previously scheduled for release this summer)
Black Cobra Viper (30th repaint)
Snake Eyes: Temple Guardian (POC re-release)
Renegades Storm Shadow (30th re-release)
Shadow Tracker (POC re-release)

Wave 2:
Urban Camo Cobra Trooper
Black Crimson Guard
Blue Cobra Shock Trooper (POC repaint)
Blowtorch (POC supposed re-release, never seen in stores)
Cobra Commander (POC re-release)
Ninja Force Scarlett (repaint ROC "Reactive Armor" figure in green and gold, with the Renegades Scarlett head and toss in a sword)

Wave 3
Black Resolute Alley Viper (25th repaint, previously only in online exclusive set)
Olive Cobra Viper (30th repaint)
Camouflage Renegades Cobra Trooper (30th repaint--leave out the alternate head)
Crazylegs (POC re-release)
Resolute Roadblock (25th re-release, previously available only in online exclusive set)
Night Creeper (25th repaint; this sculpt is one people wanted to troop build, but only came in an online exclusive set and repainted in a WM exclusive 2-pack)

Store exclusives:
Extensive Enterprises Tomax and Xamot two pack (SDCC Cobra Commander body with 25th Tomax and Xamot heads)
Kwinn (unreleased 30th figure)
Vietnam Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow (repaint the ROC Joe Trooper with the Doc head as Snake Eyes, and kitbash Tunnel Rat and someone else for Storm Shadow)

In revision cases, paint some of the Cobra troop builders' heads like they're not white. Maybe release the Cobras with American flags as a variant.

That could be done, and require minimal effort. Aside from colors, there's nothing new here. They may look a little heavy on Cobras for conventional Hasbro marketing wisdom, but what sells to adults, and how many kids are buying these right now?

[Ran]

The email I got from TRU today says all Marvel, Spider-Man, Star Wars, & GI Joe are buy one get one 50% off. The picture next to it shows a GI Joe movie figure.

[Ran]

Got the Rock/Beachhead/Kamakura 3 pack from TRU. The 3 packs aren't part of the sale, otherwise I might have picked up the other set. There were only a few movie single figures: Duke, Snake Eyes, and 2 Storm Shadows. They also had the Hiss Tank, Awe Striker, Cobra boat, the Joe Jet, and both motorcycles.

Beachhead and Kamakura are both nice. Plenty of weapons for both. Beachhead comes with 3 guns, a pistol/silencer, & 2 knives (but there is only one holster for a knife). Kamakura has an Uzi. Be careful with it because the silencer comes off. The Rock figure has a couple minor problems. The head is loose, the ammo backpack doesn't fit well, and the machine gun is made of soft plastic that makes it difficult to get it in his hand.

[anarky]

It looks like all the Targets in driving distance have what I want in stock. Two are across from TRU's (in different directions, but, eh). I figure I can hit one TRU, then Target across the street, and, if necessary, there's another Target in each of these towns.

The only site I'd seen reviews before the last couple of days slammed Beach Head and didn't rate Kamakura much higher. But it looked like it was mostly due to simple paint jobs on existing sculpts.

Whatever I don't get soon, I can wait on. Hasbro would be absolutely stupid to a degree even beyond anything they've ever demonstrated to retool the line and get rid of the figures that people are raving about. Especially the Red Ninja, unless they fundamentally change the movie.

[Ran]

The coloring on Beachhead is pretty simple. It appears to be inspired by the new US Military uniforms, which are using the green/grey/tan scheme now. It just occurred to me that Beachhead doesn't have a backpack, but the Resolute and POC versions didn't either. I'm also beginning to wonder if his web gear should have been a color other than black. Might experiment using some of the gear from the ROC motorcycle Beachhead.

The only thing I've noticed about Kamakura is that the hood doesn't sit quite right.

[Ran]

Went to WM and Target. Looks like they stocked 1 case of figures each. I grabbed the Red Ninja. My wife asked me 3 times if I was sure it was the only one I wanted. She said she didn't want to hear me saying that I regret not buying them later. Briefly considered getting the Cobra Trooper, Joe Trooper, or Cobra Commander, but ended up leaving them on the peg.

[anarky]

I apparently live in the only place on Earth where all the stores obeyed the street date, then decided to ship the shit back to Hasbro. TRU apparently had stuff, but all that's left are some uber-shitty motorcycles (which, truthfully, will kick ass for $5 at Ross) with uber-shitty Snake Eyes and Firefly figures (which will not kick ass for $5 at Ross), along with some masks and swords.

I'm very seriously considering writing an old-school letter to Hasbro. This is fucked up. "Go ahead and put the stuff out. No! Send it back!!" Couldn't it at least have been "Put it out, then, whatever doesn't sell in two weeks, we'll take back?" There are people who were looking forward to some of this, and some kids couldn't care less if the movie's out or not.

[Ran]

Pretty much all of the stores here obeyed the street date. Most of the stuff I wanted from the movie line was in later waves, which is unfortunate. It would be nice if they could fill the new void in the line with repaints, re-issues, and cancelled figures. How much time would it take for them to produce and ship new figures?

For $5, the motorcycles would be cool. Between TRU, WM, and Target, there were more bikes at the pegs than anything else, so it is probably just a matter of time.

[anarky]

Seriously, though, don't you think the theoretical fill-in line I described above would be awesome, outsell everything else they've done in the last few years, and get people excited again? The Crazylegs and Blowtorch figures would be the only potential pegwarmers, and they were so incredibly tough to find (I don't believe Blowtorch was ever sighted, though Hasbro swears he was released), they could just shortpack them at one per case.

I cannot fathom that they still do not get that repainting the three most important Cobra troop builders (Trooper, Viper, and Crimson Guard) in every color that's imaginable and not entirely ridiculous would equal sales. Hell, a lot of people don't want just one of any Cobra trooper.

[Ran]

If they short packed the unreleased variant Blowtorch and Croc Master, they wouldn't peg warm.

They could take a page out of the Star Wars line and do a "Greatest Hits" thing using figures that were formerly exclusives or hard to find like Alpine, Bench Press, TRU Firefly, Pit Trooper, etc. And when you consider how many Cobra troop repaints they can do, it should be easy to fill the line until next year. (Assuming they haven't pissed off all of the retailers with the excess of ROC and the Retaliation debacle.)

[anarky]

Copy-paste from elsewhere, because I'm damned lazy. These figures are so inconsistent, I thought actually reviewing them might be helpful:

Here's my thoughts on the basic figures. I haven't opened the vehicles yet.

Beach Head (Nina Dojo)
It's impossible to dislike this figure, but it's impossible to get too excited, either. Hasbro almost seems to have a Beach Head fetish or something. He's all reused parts; he might be entirely a less-detailed repaint of POC Beach Head (I don't have him handy to compare). He's Beach Head; if you're a Joe collector, you kinda know what I mean. If you haven't got any of the previous 3,874 BH's, he'll seem a lot more exciting. A-

Cobra Commander
This is, sculpt-wise, an excellent figure. I really dig the look of him, particularly in black. Also, his snake staff is one of the few action accessories that I plan to use (albeit without the rocket), and his regular guns look nice enough. I plan to use him as Krake (from the IDW comics), perhaps getting one or two of the blue ones later to use as generals. But I can't justify another at full price--the sacrifice of the ankle articulation and the single-jointed knee really hurts the figure, moreso than most of the others like this, because his knee looks very gappy when it's bent. Too bad; aside from that, he's damned close to perfect. B-

Cobra Trooper
He should be better than he is. The design is decent enough, though nothing spectacular, but the color scheme (light and bright blue with black trim) kills it. He also suffers from a gappy knee, though it's not as conspicuous as with Cobra Commander. His gun is pretty bizarre, but at least it's not neon green. Haven't messed with the parachute contraption. Overall, he winds up being just okay and a little boring. With some paint detail, this could've been a whole 'nother figure. I'm hoping that, if the line doesn't take, they might repaint him a few different ways, like they did with the Neo-Viper for ROC. (I've also noticed the mask, partially due to the coloration, looks a lot like Snake Eyes IV.) B-

Duke
Something of a minor disappointment, to be honest. I think the reactive armor actually looks better in this color scheme (it gives it a weird 90s vibe), but he's just not especially exciting. I broke down and picked him up to do a headswap with the Joe Trooper, but the skin tones don't match. I might try the Joe Trooper's helmeted head, if I get more of that figure. The weapons are entirely useless, he has no webgear, and he's definitely re-using the ROC Tatum Channing head. Which begs the question of why, since he's a non-movie design anyway, didn't they re-use ROC legs as well and give the poor guy some joints. His knee gaps aren't too noticeable, but I'm looking at him and thinking how much he would benefit from simply being able to rotate his feet. Or some weapons that weren't hollowed-out neon orange monstrosities. Or anything. Anything at all. Not bad, but definitely nothing to write home about, either. C-

G.I. Joe Trooper
I'll be honest; I thought this guy looked kinda dumb until I opened him. The reviews were so glowing, though, I couldn't pass him up. Holy snot, am I glad I didn't! He's loaded with accessories--all of which, except for his extra head, can be stored on his person! Plus, ball-jointed wrists and rocker ankles that are flawlessly hidden in the "folds" of his pants. I don't think he was meant to be a Retaliation figure; I'm convinced this fellow is a 30th Anniversary holdover. I'm not entirely crazy about the mohawked head, but, really, who's going to display him with that one? My only regret is that I didn't get the blue version as well. I will correct that at the earliest opportunity. A+

Kamakura (Ninja Dojo)
He's a straight-up kitbash with a fairly plain color scheme. And, yet, this figure is absolutely sweet. I think he's my new favorite Kamakura figure by a wide margin; I've always loved the design, even if I didn't care for the idea of Sean Collins growing up to go all ninja. This guy's got more weapons than he knows what to do with, and he's definitely going to be on my revamped Joe Ninja Force. A

Red Ninja
As far as I can tell, this is just a straight-up repaint of Renegades Storm Shadow (and I don't have that figure handy to compare closely), only with the new rocker ankles. But that's all he needs to be. That's all a Red Ninja figure should ever be (and not that bizarre vehicle driver by that name from the early 90s). And Renegades Storm Shadow was so close to perfect, we didn't know rocker ankles could improve upon it. Ten bucks may be a bit steep for it, but, when this guy goes on sale or clearance (if that happens), I am army-building him. Great thing about GIJoe is that I can still display him with the older, far inferior Red Ninjas from a couple of years ago; they still look cool, but this guy's going to be in the foreground. The only drawback is that he only comes with two swords (and a stupid zipline accessory) and nothing to hold them in. Ideal as a backpack would be, I'll make do. A+

Red Ninja (Ninja Showdown)
At first I thought he didn't have the rocker ankles, because the joints on mine were a bit tight. But he does, so he's the same exact sculpt as the carded Red Ninja. The paint scheme is one Hasbro's used before for a Red Ninja Commander (though this outfit never actually appeared in the comic, IIRC), and he comes with a hat and mask. Unfortunately, he doesn't have any swords; he has two sais instead and I gave him Storm Shadow's naginata, which looks sweet with him. A+

Roadblock (Ninja Dojo)
Wow. This figure is the big surprise of the bunch. I was expecting to get him only for the other two figures (mostly Kamakura, since Beach Head is, well, Beach Head). First surprise was that he has two normal hands! Hot damn! He's an excellent likeness of The Rock (probably the best actor likeness in the Joe line), and just a massive figure. Can't tell, but I think he might re-use parts from the Night Adder/Resolute Roadblock. In person, the paint scheme is pretty flawless and looks quite realistic. He's not completely perfect; the head is a tad loose, and he has the single joint in his legs that many Retaliation figures suffer from (though, because of the sculpt and the coloration, the knee gap is barely noticeable. He's the newest "made-up" recruit on my Joe team: Night Force Heavy Artillery Gunner, code-name Rock. Seriously, if that other Roadblock goes on clearance, I might get one and do something with his screwy hand so it looks like he's holding a laser pistol. A

Snake Eyes
Sculpt-wise, this figure rocks. Ball-jointed wrists, rocker ankles, and all the (previously) standard articulation. But he seems a tad bland. He has a weird blue gun that looks like a futuristic Uzi equivalent, along with a black sword, and, well, that's about it in terms of actual weapons. Sure, he's got that insane robo-glider (that will be given to someone else), but I don't count that. He's just very dark matte grey with a bit of gloss paint on a few details, and that silly Arashikage logo on his arm. I wish the figure was as nice as the sculpt. But that's why there's the 3-pack version. He's not bad, but why get him when you can get a better version for a cheaper per-figure cost in the multipack? A

Snake Eyes (Ninja Showdown)
Wow. What a huge difference a little bit of detail and some more respectable accessories make. I'd say this is the definitive Snake Eyes, but he's still got some really strong competition from a couple of the POC versions. (Kinda sad that there were at least four POC versions in just under two years, eh?) The body is darker, the armored parts are silver, and the plain black webgear (as one reviewer pointed out, apparently based on Tim Bradstreet's work from Devil's Due's GIJoe: Reloaded series) kick the figure into overdrive. As far as I can tell, he's exactly the same sculpt as the carded version, just so much better. I'm not sure if he's the best SE ever, but he's definitely a strong contender for that title. A+

Storm Shadow
This is one bloody nice Storm Shadow sculpt. It may actually be the best yet. I prefer the starker paint scheme on the 3-pack version, but the muted silver on this one is beautiful, too. He comes with a crazy zipline thing I didn't bother with, along with two swords. The only (minor) advantage he has over the 3-pack version is a small backpack to store the swords (which is actually more useful than a lot of other ninja weapons he can't hold). This sculpt also has the new, kickarse rocker ankles. Funny how some figures sacrifice that joint, and it's improved on others. A+

Storm Shadow (Ninja Showdown)
Like Snake Eyes, this figure comes really close to topping a figure that we thought of as perfect (Renegades Storm Shadow). He doesn't have a backpack for his swords, unfortunately, unless I mistakenly gave his to Snake Eyes, which is his only real drawback. Also, like Snake Eyes, I much prefer the 3-pack version. The black and grey details really add to the figure, though he'd be a bit nicer if his gloves were black as on box photo. That's too minor a quibble to hold against him. A+

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

At Target today there was an absolute shit-ton of Resolute toys of every description. So I have to wonder how many places are actually sending them back.