Football

[Ran]

The Bills cut their punter today because he had no hang time. Supposedly they are going to pick up another QB. Whoever they manage to bring it is currently unemployed for a reason. This season could get ugly even by Bills' standards.

[Tom Foolery]

I hear Josh Freeman's available.

But seriously, I shouldn't joke. You're gonna have a rough season.

[Tom Foolery]

Vikings' Running Back Adrian Petersen's 2-year old son died from being abused. The mother's boyfriend is in custody.

That is fucking, tragically awful.

I spent the majority of my childhood living in Sioux Falls. From age 3 until 16.

[jjreason]

So upsetting. Apparently he's going to play on Sunday anyhow.

[Tom Foolery]

A special thank you goes out to the Browns for disintegrating in the 2nd half there. Thanks guys!
LIONS WIN!

Nice (almost) Comeback, Buffalo! Not a bad showing considering you're down to your practice squad QB.

Fuck you, Baltimore. I was counting on you to beat the Packers. Specifically when you were 4th and Goal on the 1yd line and went for it instead of going for the easy Field Goal. Because you ASSHOLES lost by TWO GODDAMN POINTS.

[Ran]

Not that it doesn't make it any less tragic, but Adrian Peterson didn't even know about the kind until he was in critical condition at the hospital.

I'm surprised the Bills came back like they did. Supposedly Thad Lewis might have been dinged up at the end of the game. There is a rumor that Matt Flynn was flying into Buffalo. Last week someone pointed out that Flynn has been paid $14M over the past 2 seasons by Seattle and Oakland and has only started once.

[Tom Foolery]

I'd wager either Christian Ponder and/or Matt Cassel will also be available in a few weeks.

[Tom Foolery]

A few things.

1. FFFFUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK!!!!

2. Woohoo! Thank you RG3! Your team should change its racist name. But thanks for beating the Bears. And injuring Cutler.

3. Well done, Buffalo!

4. That #94 on the Pats is gonna be a giant GOAT. What the fuck was he thinking??

5. Stupid Browns. In one day, Green Bay is back on top of the NFC North.

6. Holy shit. Watching Denver implode in the first half. Then rally back to an almost victory. Then imploding again right at the end.

7. The CHIEFS are the only undefeated team?? THE CHIEFS?!?

[Ran]

I was flipping back and forth between NFL Network and CBS's pre-game shows today. Based on the commercials they show, you'd think every man that watches football can't get a boner.

[Tom Foolery]

Matthew Stafford is such a fucking pimp. Even his own guys didn't know what he was gonna do.
FUCK YES. That was an awesome game.

Granted, had that final play gone a different way, I'd've been in here bitching about turning the ball over 4 goddamn times and how awful the game was.

Here's a fun fact about that game. Calvin Johnson had more yards BY HIMSELF than the entire Dallas offense had TOGETHER. Had he, and Reggie Bush, and Stafford not bumbled through the game like they did, it would have been a blowout.


In other news, the Vikings sucked as is typical. And now we have the unenviable position of having to root for the Bears to best the Pack next Sunday. That's like hoping you get herpes instead of the clap. I'm hoping the Bears pull off a win, but get so beat up in the process, the Lions can steamroll them the following week.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

What the fuck?? I'm watching both the Chiefs/Bills game on CBS and the Vikings/Cowboys game on Fox. The Bills are on the 1yard line with four attempts for a TD, so I switch over to Fox to check the score real quick. It's 10-6 Vikings. I switch back after SIX SECONDS and KC has somehow tied the game up? The fuck?? So I watch the replay for a couple minutes (Way to go, Jeff Tool.) Then flip back to Fox after like two minutes and suddenly the Cowboys are up 10-20. The fuck??! They scored TWO TDs in the minute I wasn't watching?!?

[Ran]

Most of the country gets to see KC vs. Buffalo, but Vegas falls into Charges territory, who happen to be playing on the east coast this week. Luckily I found an online link.

[Tom Foolery]

Its the halfway point of the Season, so let's revise the first week predictions.
And let's not forget the Bears just gave me an early XMas Present and wrecked Aaron Rodgers, perhaps for the rest of the season! Broken collarbone? Which leaves the Lions, Bears, and Packers in a 3-way tie for First Place in the NFC North! But guess which team isn't all banged to shit, working with backup QBs and depleted lineups? Huzzah!!

Anyway, here's the original prediction with revisions.

Oh look! It's already that time of the year again. That brief sliver of time, where the optimism hasn't been smothered with a pillow yet. Let's look at the schedule and get to smotherin'.

Vikings. Probably not. But a win will be a big boost for momentum. 24-34 WIN. Vikings and their rotating QB suckage started the season off right.
@Cardinals. If they don't win this one, the rest of the season will be bleak. 21-25 LOSS. That was a winnable game and they blew it.
@Redskins. Depends on whether RG3 is back to full power. 27-20 WIN. Turns out RG3 isn't up to snuff.
Chicago. Hmm. New coach. Cutler sucks. Urlacher retired. Might have a chance.32-40. Chicago's first loss of the season. A great victory.
@Green Bay. Ha! No. 9-22 LOSS. To be fair, both Burleson and Calvin Johnson sat the game out. Reggie Bush ain't that good.
@Browns. Toss up. Cleveland ain't great. But neither is Detroit. 31-17. Cleveland ain't great. Turns out we aren't that bad.
Bengals. Probably not. Bengals put up a good fight last year. 27-24 LOSS. Ugh. Lost by a field goal right at the end. So close. So close.
Cowboys. Dallas is all over the map. Toss up. 30-31 WIN. WHOO HOO!
BYE WEEK. Where we're at now.

And now the rest of the schedule, which isn't looking so bleak now.

@Chicago. Depends on how well their doing. Homefield advantage doesn't help though.
Bears defense isn't too hot. Still a toss up, but we've got a fair shot. WIN.
@Pittsburgh. Dear god, please let Suh sack their asshole QB so hard he breaks his spine. Steelers are last in their division. WIN.
Tampa Bay. The Bucs will probably win. Bucs haven't won all season. WIN.
Green Bay. The Thanksgiving game! Detroit never misses an opportunity to lose big when the entire nation is watching. Especially at home. Green Bay without Rodgers?? WIN!
@Philidelphia. Gawd, Eagles have been embarrassing lately. We might have a good chance here. Philly is having QB issues and are having a losing season. But we've beaten the other two teams in their division. Not a sure thing, but winnable. WIN.
Ravens. Oh Please. Last years champs? We've no chance. Wow. Ravens are almost last in their division. WIN.
Giants. Oh Please. The previous years champs? We've no chance. Giants are last in their division. And we've already beaten the other two teams in that division. WIN.
@Vikings. I'm sure Adrian Petersen will embarrass us, just to pour salt in the wound that is our season. Clearly Vikings aren't a threat this year. WIN.

Final Tally: 5W-11L.
Optimism smothered.
I'm thinking 12-4 now. 13-3 is optimistic, 11-5 is pessimistic.

Of course, now that I'm excited about maybe making the playoffs, Megatron, Stafford, and Reggie Bush will have season ending injuries and we'll be 5-11. (see? I'm still pessimistic)

[Tom Foolery]

First of all, Well Done Bills. Trouncing in style.


Now on to the Lions...Who the fuck decided to fake a FG and try to run it in? You jackasses. Now we're back in a tie with the Bears. At least if it comes down to a tie breaker we've beat them twice.

And the Ravens have now let me down twice. First they let the Pack beat them, and now the Bears. I was counting on them not sucking this year. With our luck they'll get their shit together just in time to eke out a win against Detroit. Fuckers.

At least the Giants beat Green Bay.

Although now all these teams that sucked for the first half of the season (Giants, Bucs, Eagles, etc) are getting their groove and will be tougher to beat. Especially if Detroit keeps making retard play calls like NOT KICKING A FUCKING FIELD GOAL. Stupid stupid stupid stupid.

[Ran]

Yeah, that was a strange time to fake a field goal. What was with Calvin Johnson disappearing during the 2nd half? Still, he had a good first half.