the vynsane asylum

Inside Out. Not bad, but not nearly as great as people have made it out to be. I get what they're going for, but so many things seemed like they just weren't entirely thought out. The kid should've been in a coma less than halfway through the movie, for starters. But I guess Lewis Black is almost always a good thing. (I say "almost" because I do seem to recall him being in a couple of truly shitty movies.)

Inside Out falls into that rare "good, but still overrated" category.
I've been watching a lot of random stuff on Hulu/Netflix the last couple weeks.


Tears of the Sun Mediocre Navy SEAL movie with Bruce Willis.

Road Warrior. My GF loved Fury Road but hadn't seen any of the other Mad Max movies. I told her she wasn't missing much but we watched one just to see what movies from the early 80s looked like. Most of them don't age well.

Conan the Barbarian. The original with Ahnuld.

Masters of the Universe. I had forgotten how lame this movie was and rewatched it. Everybody give Langella props for his Skeletor, but corn in a turd is still turd.

Bad Boys 2. I heard they're gonna make a third one.

Hot Rod. Why the fuck didn't you guys tell me about this movie?? Fucking hilarious.

There is a LOT of commentary about Hot Rod here. We all thought it was funny as fuck! Check out Vyn's avatar.....

- Rhodesian fighting sticks.Very, very... lethal.

-Ah, Rhodesian, of course...

Swimming pools are perfect for holding water.

Spectre - Some people are shitting all over this flick. No idea why. It's a solid Bond flick.
Some are saying it's a return to the cheesy Bond of before. I disagree. There is the slightest hint of it, but nowhere near the camp the last few Brosnan Bond's were.
As far as the Daniel Craig flicks go, Casino Royale and Skyfall were better, but it towers over the shitty Quantum of Solace.



The reveal of Christoph Waltz as Blofeld is the worst kept secret since Benedict Cumberbatch as Kahn.

The Rocketeer. Yup. Still every bit the classic it's always been. I was never quite sure why this and Dick Tracy weren't much, much bigger.

Black Mass - It was about the relationship between Whitey Bulger and the FBI handler that was set up with him. Pretty decent flick and Johnny Depp played the part admirably.

Hot Shots Part Deux. One of my favorite lines in any movie:

Took a gamble and watched Youth with Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel. Reviews are mixed but i really liked it. For a movie about nothing much it sort of sucks you in and caresses you with a warm fuzzy hipster beard nuzzle. Sure some parts are not stellar. Particularly one scene where Keitel has visions of people he once knew which is staged in a very amateurish way. There are a couple of characters that should have been trimmed out because they add nothing. Overall though, the film is charming and if you have the patience to sit through over two hours of navel gazing in what feels more like a stage play with fabulous scenery it is worth a watch. I found it a refreshing change from seeing cars explode and cities destroyed and people being killed in increasingly graphic ways. Keitel's character is particularly endearing.

Watched the battle of the five armies extended cut. Wow. Peter jackson was snorting something when he put together that movie. I can deal with more billy Connolly, I can deal with more CGI hordes battling. Legolas stands out as a retarded insertion though. The battle between him and Bolg at the end is an exercise in what not to do with a character who shouldn't even be in a movie. I hear Jackson has said that he sort of dropped the ball with the Hobbit and I think I agree. A particular low point in the extended cut is the fate of Alfred, the servant of the master of Lake Town. A, it was the wrong place to insert that sequence and B, it's just dumb and cheap and seems better suited to Jackson's earlier work like Bad Taste. Also, given that it's been a year or so since the movie had its theatrical release and they could have fixed any compositing glitches, there are so many shoddy sequences that feel lifted from a game rather than movie quality effects. I definitely won't be re-watching the Hobbit trilogy in a hurry that's for sure. Such errors could be forgiven on the LOTR triilogy as so much was untried and the industry was innovating. Now all this stuff should be second nature and when effects people get it so wrong it stands out and jars you out of the movie experience then it's pretty unforgivable.

I skimmed through the Transporter refuelled. Exactly what you'd expect it to be. Fights and stunts and showy explosive set pieces. It's just not the Transporter without Jason Statham though. Ed Skrein is photogenic and does his best but he's just not got the X factor Statham has. He conveys nothing of the human that is Frank Martin in the way Statham managed. It just feels like Skrein is hitting his mark and counting through the moves to the end of the take. Still, if all you want is exploding cars and improbably extended fights, Transporter refuelled delivers.

I haven't seen the other 1 hour and 56 minutes of Youth, but this part was pretty good.

Ant Man. Loved it. A little sentimental but never cloyingly so.

Fantastic Four. 1hr 40 I'll never get back. Truly awful.

Pan. Levi Miller is a cracking little actor. Bright future ahead if he can live down this turd.

Big Hero 6. Awesome stuff. I cried and laughed and felt uplifted at the end. Hugely entertaining.

The Good Dinosaur. Nice. Nothing amazing, but - nice.

CHAPPiE. Neil Blomkamp needs to give up and go find an alternate career. Brilliantly integrated CGI, but the film is fucking awful.

Me and Earl and the dying girl. *sigh* I'm sure art school hipster douchebags will love it. I almost nodded off.

Shelter. Another fucking movie called Shelter. Paul Bettany should stick to acting. This is just a big ol' chunk of depressing and wannabe-worthy film school final project stuff. I laughed inappropriately when Jennifer connolly gets a fake cum facial. Frankly, the trailer lied and said this would have some fun in it. There is none. It's just gonna leave you reaching for the bottle or a gun.

Jennifer connolly gets a fake cum facial.

Tom Foolery wrote:

Jennifer connolly gets a fake cum facial.

Now I have to see this movie, even knowing it's bad.

There's no way the scene lives up to the one I've already constructed in my head.