Vynsane.com's Hasbro's Weekly Q&A

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:25 pm

Due to the popularity of that SNL "Dick in a box" video, we decided that Silver Surfer in a box was a sure hit. Make sure you look for the gold chase version. If you refuse to buy it, many loveable kittens will die.

Ok, seriously. Why won't you do the modular playset thing?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 10:22 am

Didn't you pay attention in middle school when Nancy Reagan told you to just say no to modular playsets?

Okay. Let's talk Bossk. You released him ten years ago, and he was the best figure around for a long time. You released a new one just a couple of years ago, and he was great. But the first one was so good, there wasn't much improving to be done. Now you've got a "Vintage" styled Bossk coming this summer. Add to this the fact that he beat out so many other characters (Qui-Gon!) for the Unleashed, 12", Titanium, and Galactic Heroes line.

And now you announce that the GH Bossk will be one of the first to be released on a single card, despite his not being an army-builder, and having only been offered with a new figure (as opposed to so many who were only released with figures we'd already bought five or six times, like that Nelvaan Anakin).

Let's just cut to the chase. Which one of you is fucking Bossk, and is he a butch or a bitch?

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 3:16 pm

He is a butch

What the fuck is up with bed head Luke and the vaparator?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Thu Apr 05, 2007 7:58 pm

What the fuck is up with...your MOM?!?! (Oh we got you good Bitch! Cry like a little girl!!)

Can you guys explain Power Rangers to me? I don't see the attraction. I know it's not your line, but it seems to engulf huge sections of merchandising resets and kids LOVE it. What's up with that?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:12 pm

Power Rangers? Total ripoff of GIJoe. And, in turn, Sigma Six is a total ripoff of Power Rangers! It all comes full circle!

Doesn't that Amy Jo Johnson Pink Ranger have some nice titties? Just like Scarlett, eh? You'd like a Scarlett Sigma Six figure, wouldn't you? Well, tough shit!! We'd rather make Samurai Snake Eyes with Real Sepukku Action! Each figure may only be able to do it once, after which it's worthless, but, damn, it looks cool.

Okay, Hasbro, you goddamned motherfuckers. Why the fuck did you finally listen to us about making a line of fucking McQuarrie concept figures, including re-releasing the McQuarrie Stormtrooper you royally fucked up the distribution on a few years ago, and even announce this at Comic-Con so we could be all excited for almost a full year... and then you fucking cocksuckers go and make three of the most important, most wanted concept figures exclusive to the goddamned overpriced Celebration IV?

What the fuck, Hasbro?

Do you want us to all come and personally kick your fucking nuts until your noses bleed?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:54 pm

Oh that you could. Tis nigh impossible...for we are protected on high by the Lord Balsavius, Protector and High Priest of the Faltunda Demon Clan of the Foylix Nether Dimension. He hath annointed us with his touch and we are sheltered from the boot kicking likes of thee. So whine all thou wanst about our plans for world domination. You shall never feel our berries burst 'neath the wrath of yon boot.

Okay, I just heard that there is only one set of Hasbro Legends per case in Wave 2. Which is basically going to make it harder than ever to get complete sets. So my question is...what kind of fucking douches are you? Masengill? or Summer's Eve?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:56 pm

Silly human! Douches do not fuck! Women douche after they fuck. Man, are you retarded.

It's been a few days since anyone asked, so, uh, Yarna?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:13 pm

Ahhhhh...yes. Yarna. Don't tell anyone this. It's supposed to be a secret. But eight(was it eight? Nine?) Eight or Nine years ago, we produced a Mint on Card Yarna figure which was light years ahead of anything else we'd done at the time. It's still pretty fucking good even compared to our current production levels. And just an absolutely stunning sculpture. Oh, it'd make you cry at it's beauty. Yeah. So anyway, we just like to pass it around the offices here in Rhode Island. You'll never see it. HA HA!

Why do you guys keep using the same molds for Star Wars vehicles from 30 years ago? Aren't your modeling guys chomping at the bit to try and improve on those designs? You're already richer than GOD, so why don't you bust out with a killer Falcon?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:46 pm

Because new sculpts would cost money, and well, we owe some serious cash to the aforementioned Lord Balsavius, Protector and High Priest of the Faltunda Demon Clan of the Foylix Nether Dimension.

Will you ever release that blue Snaggletooth from the K-mart Cantina set on its own card? How about a new and improved Dr. Evazan?

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:56 pm

How about you go fuck yourself?

Hasbro, why oh why oh fuckin' why didn't you choose to make the Celebration IV McQuarrie figures available in one 12-hour line instead of two?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:09 pm

That way you'll enjoy twice the fun, and twice the comraderie with fellow collectors!

Hasbro, why did you make two of the Fan's Choice figures so damned hard to find? Any chance the retarded Darth Cobra Commander "Fan's Choice" figure will be this hard to find, so maybe it doesn't pegwarm quite so hard?

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:08 pm

We realized that people didn't actually want Ellorrs Madak, Amanaman, or Ephant Mon, so we made them in short supply. Since Knights of the Old Republic is loved by every single person who's ever lived, the Darth Revan figure will be manufactured in huge numbers never before seen for our line. Since all Xbox fans collect Star Wars figures, right?

Why the hell can't I find the Order 66 packs anymore?

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:11 pm

Because you are shopping at Wal-Mart douche drinker

Why the fuck dont you make your product more available at your online store?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 7:43 pm

When are you little assholes ever online to buy thngs? You should be at Wal-Mart looking for toys. That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard of.

I applaud your decision to bring back 3 3/4" Joes in 2008, but since there's a lack of appropriately sized affordable vehicles which was the impetus for the original line back in the early 80's, why don't you do hyper-articulated Six Inch "G.I. Joe Legends" instead of clinging to this dismal failure that was Sigma Six?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 9:15 am

Ah, but there are vehicles for the new 3.75" Joes. Repaints of the vintage VAMP (now with giant Nerf cannons!), the vintage Snow Cat (which now transforms just like the Transformers RID figure of the same name), and the vintage Star Wars Landspeeder (in purple and orange "urban camo") will be released as Toys R Us exclusives for only $89.99 each.

Oh, and did we mention that purchasing these will be the only way to get the 25th Anniversary figures of Dr Mindbender, Zartan, and Cover Girl?

Hasbro, we all know you want to make money. Have you considered the fact that giving us stuff we want, or at least not giving us stuff that we don't, would be good for your bottom line?

Case in point #1: Make us a damned Yarna figure. Sell her as an online exclusive for $10. Voila! You don't have to make as many, and still get about the same profit. I mean, you did it with that Lucas Family boxed set, which actually looked nice, but no one was really begging for.

Case in point #2: The moisture vaporator. We've been asking for it for years. Now you finally make one, but we have to buy a worthless Luke for it. Worse, it's a new sculpt of Luke, which I'm sure cost money to develop, and it's the worst Luke since 1995--maybe ever. Why not give us two moisture vaporators for $6? Or make a fucking Cliegg Lars already and release him with the vaporator as a deluxe figure? Hell, at least kitbash a Luke from the best existing pieces to give us the "Ultimate Tatooine Luke" if you insist on using that character?