The Official Who's Who of the Vynsane Forums Order of Battle

[vynsane]

And now this thread is dead.

ya had to go and post in it, didn't ya?

[jdr3]

damn...and you had to try to keep it alive so now I have to post again.....geez.....just 'cause you own the fuckin' vynsane universe don't mean you can defy my thread killin' mutant power.....

[ThreadKiller]

WHATEVER PUNK-ASS! WHAT GIVES YOU THE MOTHERFATHER RIGHT OF TRYIN' TO KILL THE THREAD....THAT'S MY JOB. NOW I'LL JUST HAVE TO PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE BERSERKER STYLE....BEAYATCH!!!

[Orbsah Stealth Ninja]

Ah-so, he buln you good Logue 2-san. He buln you so bad I carr file depaltment! Arr Hair Dooshe! O Yes!

[ThreadKiller]

NINJAS! HA! THINKING THEIR STEALTH LIKE WAYS CAN REVIVE THREADS. I SAID IT'S DEAD BITCH. TAKE YOUR ROOTIN' TOOTIN' BROKEN INGLISH BACK TO HONG KONG

[Rollo Tomassi]

As a threadkiller, you are very ineffectual.

[ThreadKiller]

As a threadkiller, you are very ineffectual.

It's not my fault you guys haven't learned the rules. Ya see, when I post somewhere, you are not supposed to post there anymore. Now there are many reasons why I might post. It could be that nobody else has posted there in a while (that's an easy kill for me), it could be that the topic is boring, or annoying (that's a little harder, there are a lot of boring and/or annoying people at the forum), or it could be that I just want to kill a thread for fun.

Now that you know the rules, I would appreciate your compliance.

[Uatu the Watcher]

Fuck with MY thread will ya? I don't think so....


Profile #4:
ZERO




Code Name: Zero
Real Name: (Born) Zedediah Ephraim Roman O'Shaunessy, (adopted) Zee Morse
Other Aliases: August Pinkerton, Agent of S.P.A.N.K., The Maharaji of Deo Jinja, Q-Bert Jr., William T. Bannenfry, Louie Armstrong, Digby Ipswich, the flatulent man, and several others throughout time.
Identity: Zero
First Appearance: X-Force something or other
Known Relatives: The Comte Du Luchesi, Wilhelm D'accord (father), Delila Inira O'Shaunessy (mother) Dot Morse (adopted mother), Dash Morse (adopted father), 11 adopted brothers, one adopted sister.
Species: Human/Android amalgamation
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 480 lbs
Eyes: None
Hair: None
Strength Level: The strength of an average human/android amalgamation who engages in moderate regular exercise.
Superhuman Powers: Human BeatBox
Skills: Mad. yo.
Occupation: Infilatration Unit
Team Affiliation: Moderator Terror Squad (membership under review), Scions of Douche, formerly M.L.F. ( Mutant Liberation Front), formerly McChuckie's Chicken Shack, kitchen, and a brief sojourn with Whitesnake.
Weapons & Equipment: Well endowed, which is both a weapon AND equipment.

ORIGIN
Zedediah Ephraim Roman O'Shaunessy was born in the 31st century to a wealthy aristocrat and his mistress, Delila. In order to avoid a public scandal, the young boy was taken to a neighboring Planet-State and put into an orphanage. A young couple, the Morses, who were trying to conceive for the twelth time, but were unable to do so because Dot Morse had reached her fecundity level. So they adopted young Zed. Zed grew up with twelve older brothers, named One, Two , Three, Four Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, and Eleven, and a younger adopted sister, ∏. Zee's childhood was typical and uneventful. He eventually got a part time job at McChuckie's Chicken Shack off the beltway, where an unfortunate chicken grinding machine accident left him without a non-horribly disfigured body and face.

CABLE
As was typical at the time, Zee was made into a human/android amalgamation to deal with his disfigurement. Because of this, Zee grew despondent and began running with the wrong crowd, eventually hooking up with a man known as Cable (Nathan Christopher Edward Lucille Askani's Son Daypring Summers-Smythe). Cable like to time travel and sometimes put on a big goofy ass helmet and spiked costume and call himself Stryfe. But it was really Cable the whole time. They traveled to the late 20th century, and Zero slummed with the Mutant Liberation Front for awhile, and eventually guest starred in Excalibur. In the mid 90's, Marvel Comics was really piss poor quality and Zero faked his own death so he wouldn't have to be associated with it anymore.

THE UNKNOWN YEARS
For several decades (perhaps longer) Zero bounced through time having many wonderful adventures in many different disguises (see above for partial list). It was during these adventures, he crewed with the infamous Sly Wiley and his crew aboard the E. Coyote and had several run ins with an Aaron Munchausen. After years of this, he came across the character that would shape his future. HAL 9000.

THE EVIL SCHEME
As his newest recruit, Zero was asked to infiltrate the forums at vynsane.com. In order to not be discovered as a infiltrator, Zero voluntarily placed safeguards on his programming, which stilted his communication skills into an archaic "Robot Speak". Eventually, Zero was asked to join the Moderator Terror Squad as a Mod along with John Madden, Richard Simmons, General Zod, Bob Ross, and Batman. This made his infiltration job that much easier. At some point, a computer virus released by Perpantor ( unbeknownst to Zero, also an agent of his master) caused Zero to only be able to communicate in song lyrics. Years later, while trolling vynsane.com in secret, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman would crib this idea for their Transformers screenplay and apply it to Bumblebee. No one at vynsane.com has ever received monetary renumeration for this, sadly. Although Zero quickly recovered from this virus, he continued to act afflicted for several months, so that he could search the forums in relative freedom, until he found what he was looking for. The captured DeckardSmith. Waiting for a routine upgrade to temporarily lower the forum's safeguards gave Zero the opportunity he was waiting for.

THE ESCALATION
DeckardSmith was freed and immediately killed long standing forum member Eternal Padawan. To act as a distraction, at the behest of his master, Zero implemented yet another subroutine, to mimic certain aspects of the deceased's personality and to attempt to disrupt the ongoing murder investigation with false accusations and deliberate false leads. His attempts were cut short by several forumites acting in collusion to solve the crime including Grimlock, Batman, Swedish Chef, Robin, the Boy Wonder, Mario Mario, and Twiki in a convoluted and ultimately uninteresting plot device. Once his duplicity was uncovered, Zero changed his programming once more to become a mean spirited Scion of Douche, in yet another attempt to lead others away form him master's true intentions.

He is currently making the occasional snide comment in RED CAPITAL LETTERS and because of his involvement in the EP murder, his membership in the MTS is under review.

[ThreadKiller]

OH MY FREAKIN' LORD! NOW FREAKIN' MELONHEAD IS BACK!
AND WHAT THE FRICK IS AN ORDER OF BATTLE!

YOU LEFT LIKE SIX CENTURIES AGO AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST COME BACK AND POST OUT OF NOWHERE IN A TOPIC THAT YOU STARTED. SORRY BITCH THE THREAD HAS BEEN KILLED. ALL OF YOU MOURNERS JUST GO BACK TO YOUR MUNDANE LIVES. THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SEE.
THE THREAD IS DEAD! IT JUST WON'T DIE!

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Even though that Zero entry was too long, it cleared up a lot of stuff for me.

[anarky]

An Order of Battle is what GIJoe called their Who's Who/Universe book.

[Zero]

WHAT THE...I'M ADOPTED?!?!


WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

[Sleazer]

I'm a Weight Watcher.

[The Grin]

Profile #2:
THE GRIN

Real Name: Classified
Other Aliases: None known
First Appearance: Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:54 am
Known Relatives: The Growl (former pet), The Gap (cousin), Shit Eating Grin (cousin), Grin N Bearit (relationship unknown)
Species: Human, (presumably) white male
Height: Unknown
Weight: Unknown
Eyes: Unknown
Hair: Unknown
Occupation: Motherfucker

The Grin fucked your mother last night. She thanked him.

That should read:

The Grin fucked your mother last night. She thanked him. He fucked her so good, they gave him an award.

[Uatu the Watcher]

Profile #5:
THE GRIZ

Real Name: Unknown
Other Aliases: Noe
First Appearance: Wed Jul 11, 2007 9:49 am
Known Relatives: None
Species: Blue-tinted polar bear
Height: Average bear
Weight: Average bear
Eyes: Black
Hair: If by "hair," you mean "fur," then Blue
Strength Level: Pretty good
Superhuman Powers: None, he's a fuckin' bear. So I guess his Superbear Powers would be stealth and pet-fucking.
Skills: A tight grip
Occupation: Pet fucker
Team Affiliation: Unofficial member of The Group
Weapons & Equipment: Velcro Gloves and an old sock he calls "Lamb chop"

The Griz tried to have sex with people, like the local Inuit tribes, but he was never quite satisfied. Then he tried local wildlife, but that wasn't quite right either. One day he was watching PBS and found himself getting turned on by Lambchop. Since he didn't have a lot of money, he just found an old gym sock and called it "lambchop". He used it to jerk off. Soon, it wasn't enough and decided to start fucking all the neighborhood pets. When he met up with Sarah Palin's sled dog, he discovered domesticated animals were the sweet spot. This was his true calling.