the vynsane asylum

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:39 pm

My turd farted.

Let me explain. I dropped a couple and when I got off the toilet and turned around to see what happened, I noticed there were some tiny bubbles floating up from the turd. It had to be a fart. I don't know what else they could be.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 1:08 pm

Huh. I've had 2 poops today, because I had 2 too many beers last night. Not a good smelling situation.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:04 pm

After helping my sister move home from her college house, McDonald's was had for lunch. Some aspects of it were even nastier than usual, and driving home, I let out a fart that turned out to be somewhat wet. I had to clench my cheeks for the rest of the drive lest I have a repeat of the Hulk incident.

God, it sounds like I have no control over my bowels.

Sambo · Post by **Sambo** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:19 am

I take defense to de term 'dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool.' Yesterday, I dropped a bomb that looked just like my cousin, DeShawn! Laws yes!

Auxiliary · Post by **Auxiliary** » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:06 pm

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:28 am

Rogue II wrote:My turd farted.

Let me explain. I dropped a couple and when I got off the toilet and turned around to see what happened, I noticed there were some tiny bubbles floating up from the turd. It had to be a fart. I don't know what else they could be.

Alligators in the sewers????

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Aug 07, 2007 3:10 pm

Naa, can't be. For the past two months I've been watching crews clean the county's sewers. Haven't seen any alligators or croc. Just lots of cockroaches.

By the way, if you want to know what it smells like, get the contents from a porta potty at the state fair and heat it up on to about 200°F. then put in front of a fan and set it on low. Take in that hot breeze. What has amazed me so far is that when I've looked down into the sewer manhole, I haven't seen any brown trout swimming by.

If you want more info on the subject of "Where did that dump go?" let me know and I'll post it in the work thread.

captain funtime · Post by **captain funtime** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:43 pm

I took a shit and it looked like Sambo

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 6:24 am

For the first time In my life I believe, I woke up in the middle of the night and took a dump.

Around 3:45am I awoke to a rumblin' and had to shit NOW. I didn't want to do it in either of the bathrooms on the second floor and risk waking the beans, so I had to high-tail it to the main floor, where I reached my second dilemma: What do I read? I'm currently working on a book that is rather intensive and I wasn't sure if I'd be wasting my time trying to read it at four in the morning or if I'd have an easier time getting my head around something like "The Hungry Caterpillar".

I'm glad I picked the more difficult book, because I was in there for a half hour, leaving behind what looked like one of those giant Hershey Kisses after it's been left in a hot car for a couple hours.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 9:57 am

captain funtime wrote:I took a shit and it looked like Sambo

You jackass. Sambo actually beat you to your own joke.

sambo wrote:Yesterday, I dropped a bomb that looked just like my cousin, DeShawn! Laws yes!

funtime, you are a fucking tool. :mrT:

anyway, I haven't had mozzarella sticks in forever, so i made the mistake of being nostalgic and ordering some with my lunch. Now I've been dealing with soft serve Ice Cream all morning. That'll teach me.

Diabolical · Post by **Diabolical** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:06 am

CaptainSolo1138 wrote:For the first time In my life I believe, I woke up in the middle of the night and took a dump.

Around 3:45am I awoke to a rumblin' and had to shit NOW. I didn't want to do it in either of the bathrooms on the second floor and risk waking the beans, so I had to high-tail it to the main floor, where I reached my second dilemma: What do I read? I'm currently working on a book that is rather intensive and I wasn't sure if I'd be wasting my time trying to read it at four in the morning or if I'd have an easier time getting my head around something like "The Hungry Caterpillar".

I'm glad I picked the more difficult book, because I was in there for a half hour, leaving behind what looked like one of those giant Hershey Kisses after it's been left in a hot car for a couple hours.

Amazing. I was taking a shit at the same time, except I started at 3:30am and I was still up (and wide awake from some damn reason)

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:28 am

Diabolical wrote:Amazing. I was taking a shit at the same time, except I started at 3:30am and I was still up (and wide awake from some damn reason)

I'm not sure if that's awesome or creepy.

Diabolical · Post by **Diabolical** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:36 am

CaptainSolo1138 wrote:
Diabolical wrote:Amazing. I was taking a shit at the same time, except I started at 3:30am and I was still up (and wide awake from some damn reason)
I'm not sure if that's awesome or creepy.

Yes.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:35 pm

You know what boggles my mind?

How can a baby who weighs about 17 pounds and is less than two feet tall squeeze out a turd that's as hard as a rock and so big I think it would rip my adult-sized asshole apart?

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:48 pm

oh, i got a long, descriptive recounting (thanks to the missus) of my daughter farting like crazy during a changing and how she stayed "open" for quite a long time and at quite a diameter. apparently kids aren't such tight-asses as adults are.

probably helps that their nerve endings haven't fully formed down there. course, if they had, we wouldn't have need for diapers and such in the first place.

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