Vynsane.com's Hasbro's Weekly Q&A

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Fri May 18, 2007 10:41 pm

I dunno about the singer part, we had 4 people try out for American Idol including William Hung. That boy could sing just like he makes toys, super.

Seriously, when is the next Fans Choice Poll and not one done on the shittiest SW Forum board?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Sun May 20, 2007 2:07 pm

The next figure poll will be held on ign.com You can vote for Yarna, that old lady from TPM, or 4 different Clones from video games. Whichever clone wins, the other 3 will be made a couple months later. Keep holding your breath for Yarna. Hopefully enough of you will suffocate and quit asking for her.

Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Thu May 24, 2007 12:07 pm

Why, yes. Yes, we do. That's why we have to invest tons of money in Massengill to clean our unfresh vaginas. (We're hermaphrodites, you see.) Massengill is quite expensive, which is why we like to make some of the most requested figures as pack-ins and exclusives. It's a sort of trickle-down effect, passing our expenses on to you!

Hasbro, why did you even bother with the McQuarrie figures if almost 1/2 of them will be convention exclusives, and the rest will be one per case (in addition to being army builders, or having extra heads, or other gimmicks to make jedi master sal want more than one)?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Fri May 25, 2007 2:00 pm

Because we lack the time and money to personaly visit all of you to kick you in the nads.

Is that Concept Luke/Leia figure the first hermaphrodite figure ever made?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Thu May 31, 2007 10:23 am

The Original Grand Moff Tarkin figure doubles as Bea Arther, so no.

Remember that game, Balderdash? Where you had to make up a definition of a word to fool the other people playing? I can't find it anywhere anymore and I dont know if you guys made it or not, but I could use an answer. What's up with Balderdash?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:56 pm

It sounds too British. Things that sound British don't get released here, because they don't sell. Like that "Eopie" from Star Wars. That sounds all British, and no way in hell would it sell. That's why we saved you the trouble of watching it rot on shelves here, and only made twelve, which went to England. You can thank us later.

Hasbro, why are you making a set of fourteen random figures that are apparently based on your fucking sculptors? And why did you at first lie and say it was a Mandalorean set? What, Yarna won't sell, but fucking Darryl DePriest will? How big are your fucking egos?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 11:37 pm

One day, we were smoking some crack and playing Lego Star Wars II with custom figures of ourselves. Gary stood up in between hits and said "hey, you know what would be cool? Not playsets. Not a Cloud Car. Not even Yarna or any of the other fanboy wank--Immortalizing ourselves in plastic in the form of our game characters." We all agreed. Barry wanted to stay true to something in EU, so his character was a Mandalorean. We know some of you will like Mack's 2-1B/Dengar hybrid or even Andy's Snake-Eyes/Jawa/Darth Revan mix he likes to call "Hidden Hasbro Ninja". We also took this opportunity to scan one of our hot interns who will be a Twileck bounty hunter.

Anyway, it will not only will be famous and rich because other than our heads, the whole set will be kit-bashed and repainted. Don't forget we have the boys down at Entertainment Earth stroking out cocks begging for it to be their exclusive to make the deal even sweeter.

Did you guys watch the sales of the Pirates of the Caribbean toys and playsets? Did it give you any ideas?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:51 am

Indeed it did. We were going to rehash the Star Wars/Ewoks/Robin Hood: Prince of Theives/ Waterworld playsets one more time as Cutthroat Island toys, until someone pointed out that Pirate Movies suck and never make any money, so we wisely decided to do more Concept Figures. We've seen other toy companies have wild success with 6" toylines such as MOTU and DC over at Mattel, Marvel Legends at Toybiz, and various movie lines at Sota, NECA, Art Asylum, etc, so when we finally got our hands on a viable toyline ( Marvel) we did the only prudent thing and chucked everything in favor of inferior, horribly sculpted 5" figures. We feel that this decision will infuriate our consumer base, but we can pass it off to the stockholders as a positive since we are saving on raw materials while charging more money for the Hasbro brand name. It's win win for eveyone except those unimportant assholes who will buy anything we market because they are insipid douchebags who enjoy being led around by the nose.

You've successfully created apathy in me for two of my favorite toylines. Star Wars some years ago with poor distribution and repackaging schemes. And now Transformers with that Glorious bungle of BotCon exclusives and incredibly inferior movie toys. So I was just wondering what you had in store for G.I.Joe and Marvel that will get me out of toy collecting forever? The different scales for every Marvel line is a nice start by the way...

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:12 pm

We're glad you asked!

First up, from our Marvel Legends line, the next two wave will be truly momentous for collectors, as you'll finally be able to build Fin Fang Foom and Uatu the Watcher. Both will stand a full 18", making them the biggest build-a-figures ever.

Here's the breakdown for figures for the Fin Fang Foom wave:

Dazzler (1970s disco outfit)
NFL Superpro
Daredevil (1990s armor)
Slapstick
Motormouth
Death's Head (II, of course, since the first one sucks)

As he will be the least popular, Slapstick will be one per every four cases, and will be packed with five different coins. If you collect all five coins, you can send them in, along with the five heads of Fin Fang Foom you'll have accumulated (you won't need 'em, as we assume you don't care about Fin Fang Foom if you're responding to this offer), for a limited edition Circuit Breaker figure. Circuit Breaker will be, by far, the greatest Marvel Legend ever created, and will come with a fully-transformable Starscream in the proper scale, based upon a blow-up of the Japanese MPE Starscream. Starscream will also come with plenty of interchangeable battle damaged parts, so you can display Circuit Breaker kicking his ass, and he'll also say 45 classic lines in Chris Latta's voice.

Uata will be built using parts included in our all Iron Man wave, since you can never have too many Iron Man figures. As a special "thank you" to our retailers, each Iron Man in the wave will be an exclusive to a different store. Though the suggested price will be $9.99 each, we already have received word that many will charge more, including a nifty sticker that says "_____ Exclusive!" to make up for the higher cost.

Here's the breakdown:

Spider-Man Buster Iron Man (Wal-Mart exclusive)
Wasp Buster Iron Man (Target exclusive)
Superman Buster Iron Man (TRU exclusive)
Face-Off: Iron Man vs Buster Poindexter (FAO Schwarz exclusive)
Ninja Action Iron Man with Dino Buddy (KB Toys exclusive)
Deep South Iron Man (Stuckey's exclusive)

As for GIJoe, we're working on it, but we can't wait to show you the pictures of the upcoming pink Snake Eyes repaint which is designed to remind you to donate to breast cancer charities.

Hasbro, seriously, why the hell are the figures so fucking overpriced and hard to find?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:22 pm

What the hell are you talking about? I have one of every figure sitting on my desk as we speak, and they didn't cost me anything! Silly man.

Does George Lucas have any input into which figures get made and which don't? And if so what is his input into figures and vehicles like Yarna and CloudCars, etc that have been asked for ongoing ten years now and havent been made? What is the reasoning behind that?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:24 pm

George Lucas has no input into what GIJoe figures we make. Why do you ask?

Everything we've seen about the Transformers movie indicates it will suck as no movie has sucked since the Godzilla remake. What steps are you taking to ensure such a fate does not await your other beloved franchise, GIJoe?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:40 pm

To give GI Joe some extra flair and pizaaz, we have casted Jim J. Bullock and the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

How much beer and other narcotics are consumed by Hasbro per decision on exclusives?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:29 am

We prefer to keep that a trade secret. Just like the next wave of figures. Burrrrrrrn!!!

Okay, cut the hype, cut the bullshit. What do you guys really think of the Transformers movie?

Diabolical · Post by **Diabolical** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:49 am

We liked it. It was a great animated movie. Someone should make a live-action one, kind of like that new Boinical movie by Michael Bay.

Why does 98% of all Star Wars toys suck?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:01 pm

Because as hard as we try, we can't make the other 2% suck also. Sometimes little gems sneak thru and we apologize for that. Needless to say, anytime someone on the team comes up with a good idea and it makes through R&D, to production, to retail, they get sacked. Which is why quality has steadily declined over the past 13 years. Hotcha!

Have you ever clamped your mouth over someone's ass right as they let a giant fart and gulped it down?