the vynsane asylum

We can't confirm the existence of any toy, store, exclusive, or god. Hell, for all we know, you don't exist.


Any plans for one of those upcoming Jar Jars to include a duck from Naboo? You can call him Mebe Duck.

If that's what you really want, then NO. Not only that, but hell no. However, if you were being facetious, then every Jar Jar figure will come with a different colored Mebe Duck. We try to keep fans happy by telling them to fuck off. So fuck off.



I know you fuckers simply can't wait to switch the whole Marvel Legends line to a 5" scale to "save money" and piss off every Marvel collector under the sun. So when is the big switchover going to occur, you assholes?

Stay tuned for SDCC


When we will get an SA Qui-Gon?

Great question! We're actually working on a contest called "A Qui-Gon Jinn Essay for an SA Qui-Gon Jinn," in which second graders around the country will submit essays about Qui-Gon. The winner will receive a one-of-a-kind super-articulated Qui-Gon Jinn that totally surpasses any figure of any character we'd ever release to retail.

You may have noticed that certain characters come up in a lot of the fan polls: Yarna, Wilrow Hood, Tey How, Beru Whitesun, Queen Jamilla, Ben Quadinaros, etc. How do you respond to seeing these names again and again and again?

Well, if you want a cult set, we will give you one. It will be of Marshall Applewhite and the Hale Bop Comet All Stars.


Where the fuck is the KH action figure bitches?

Next year, you will get a Kidhuman figure in a "How big is your Sith Infiltrator" 2-pack with a Tycho re-release. Man, we love that guy. I wish we made a figure of him sooner. In fact, we're going to do a whole sub-line featuring Tycho. There will be a Tycho/Rogue II "How deep is that Sarlaac Pit" set, Tycho/JabbaJohnL "Would you like to see my Royal Guard's shiney red helmet" set, and "I like to bathe with a rubber mebeduck" with Mabs/Tycho (in Ernie disguise).



Can you do a quick poll of your staff? Ask them the following question: "When given a choice, would they rather do a fat chick or a hot chick that used to be a guy?"

When faced with the prospect of even being with a woman at all, invariably our entire staff descended into tittering, giggling fits. Once we get them all calmed down and back to work, I'm going to find out which figure you want the most and make sure it NEVER gets made. Thanks to you and your stupid girl question we lost productivity for the entire day.

The question of articulation in your Marvel Legends continually comes up in Q&A sessions at various toy forums. Since these questions are carefully culled from thousands of questions asked, and are usually emblematic of the general thinking amongst collectors, shouldn't the very nature of the question clue you bozos into the fact that collectors want more articulation than what you are providing in your first ML waves? How then do you justify putting out inferior product while at the same time justifying it by saying you are only doing what the "collectors" want? Isn't that a bit hypocritical on your part?

We hear the collectors and realize they want more expensive figures with less articulation.



How did you guys come up with the numbering system to figure out Boba Fett was #300 and Darth Vader was #500?

It's called counting. Ever been to grade school, you dumb fuck?

Hasbro, now that you're in the business of making action figures of yourselves, how long before you run this line into the ground?

I gots a question fo Hasbro...




WHAT THE FUCK is up wit' yo Whitey McClansmen action figure?!?! Good Lawd almighty, but you's a bunch o' racist honkys!!!

"That was actually a ToyBiz figure, but we plan to re-release him in our Great Racists of History set next year."

Hasbro, why are people getting so excited about the Indiana Jones toys? Shouldn't your statement that the Star Wars team is making the figures totally crush anyone's hopes? Are people just really that stupid?

No. You all love Star Wars. You all love Harrison Ford. And you all love bitching. Therefore you all love our Indiana Jones figures. It is almost too bad, Yarna does not appear in any of the Indiana Jones films. We were looking forward on not making her in this line, either.



Do you ever compare your Starting Line Up figures to the sports figure McFarlane makes? Damn, that has to be embarrassing.

We haven't made Starting Lineup figures in ten years, so fuck off. But at least we didn't make a figure of LaDanian Tomlinson on the bench, like McFarlane did.

Why do your General Veers and Rebel Honor Guard figures bear a great resemblence to Quentin Tarantino?

Didn't someone ask this already? Let me think of a new answer. Truth is: we all have huge crushes on Quentin, and are hoping that by releasing a lot of figures that look like him, he might come by and let us blow him! Um, er, I mean, that is, let us do Pulp Fiction figures.

Hasbro, why did you make all these super-cool GIJoes for SDCC that are one of a kind and won't be offered for sale. Isn't this both pretty fucking rude to us fans who would buy them, and a waste of your company resources to make toys no one can ever have?

Get us Tarantino and we'll give you whatever you want.

How do you feel about Target clearancing out the Vintage wave already?