I dreamed about jjreason last night

[anarky]

Another strange one last night, though not as detailed.

Eric Cartman had a plan for world domination. (And, yes, he was a cartoon character in an otherwise real world.) His plan somehow involved diarrhea. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to, um, have diarrhea. So he visited me, where I was staying with an aunt who really doesn't exist. (I was an adult, but it was like I was a kid who had to be babysat--y'know how dreams go.) So I had to teach him how to make diarrhea.

And that was it. Oh, and I think I had to lecture him on how milk can cause gas in lactose-intolerant folks. I guess that sort of weird shit comes from watching Good Eats and South Park before retiring for the evening.

[Ran]

Was that the episode of Good Eats from yesterday where they made Dulce de Leche? Mrs. Rogue II told me about it.

[anarky]

Indeed it was. It was about milk, and one of the things he was talking about was why some people are lactose intolerant.

[anarky]

Another weird one I'd have to classify as a nightmare based on the ending.

I was at a gas station. Not sure why, but this freaking hot Mediterranean-looking woman was in the back of a truck that was filling up, wearing only a tank top and panties, both black. I thought to myself, "I am going to do this chick." And I walked up to her and started making out and feeling her up. (Don't you love how you just automatically do shit in dreams you'd never do in real life?)

I pull off her panties and start unzipping my pants. She's moaning, and says, "I want you completely naked!"

"No time!" I yelled back. "We have to fuck NOW!"

(Again, don't you love the way dreams are so incredibly fucking realistic?)

No sooner have I said that then a frighteningly familiar voice says, "Well, he might not get totally naked, but I will!" I turn around and see Hillary Clinton in old lady underwear, and she starts dancing--I wouldn't call it writhing exactly, but sort of what you might envision it would look like if Hillary Clinton were trying to be sexy and failing miserably. The Mediterranean girl screams, and I scream, and the girl runs off. And that's when I discover I'm somehow stuck to the truck bed. Hillary looks disappointed, and says, "I wanted her, but I guess I'm going to have to fuck you!"

Thankfully, before she could do anything, the cat started crying for food. So, in the dream, Hillary started meowing, and turned into a cat and ran off just before I came to and realized it was the real-life cat wanting food.

Fucking horrifying, I tell you.

[anarky]

Two more goofy-ass sex-related bits from two dreams I've had in the past few days.

First, and this one's just weird. In the dream, I'm not me. You know how that goes. I go into this room where there are two hot sisters. I tell them I'm going to fuck them. One is all gung ho about it, and the other says no. But I'm fucking the first one, and the second one sees how her sister's liking it, and asks me to do her next. So I tell her, "You have to be punished for saying no, bitch, so no foreplay. Luckily for you, I've still got your sister's juice all over my dick so it's all greased up."

Second, maybe weirder. I'm on an airliner. The airplane is about to crash. The stewardesses announce that everyone will have to parachute. There's a woman, who somehow I know is a lesbian nymphomaniac, and who looks like a younger version of the woman from the Vonage commercials. She says to a chesty stewardess (who is the first groupie Johnny Cash screws in Walk the Line, same sweater and makeup and everything), "I ain't jumping unless you take off your shirt and let me suck your tits on the way down." The stewardess seems shocked and says, "I'm afraid not! I guess you're not going to survive, because no way am I taking my top off." The first woman sits on her and says, "Then, bitch, you ain't getting out of here either."

[UKWildcat]

I had a dream about kidhuman the other night. No shit. I don't remember much, but here goes:

I was somewhere in Blacksburg, nothing that resembled Blacksburg, but that is where the dream took place. [ you know how you have a dream about a location that doesn't resemble the location at all, but you know it is that location? Yeah, thats what I'm gettin' at.] And so I'm in a busted up part of BB where there was a war or something going on, buildings blown up, shrapnel everywhere, soldiers and what not patrolling the area and my goal was to get to kh's place where it was safe and I could hide out apparently. I did make it there and he was on the computer doing something, probably moderating or posting on a forum or some shit, and I tried to explain my situation to him but he wasn't paying much attention and was too involved into whatever the hell he was doing. So I decided to leave his apartment (I'm pretty sure it was an apartment) and I ended up getting cornered somewhere by a few soldiers. I tried to fend them off, I think I killed a couple of them, but one soldier shot me in the head with what appeared to be a P-38 pistol (I don't think they were German, but they could have been, maybe some sort of invasion was going on??!?!). Anyways, I was laid out on the ground looking around, looking at the soldier, and that is all i remember. So I can't say I was dead, or maybe I was, but it was the first dream I had like that (where I appeared to be dead). It was also my first dream about kh, so I can remember. Thing is, the dude in the apt. didn't really look much like kh, but it was him. It was quite odd.

There was quite a bit more about the dream but I have since forgotten it.



In my Psychology class we learned all about dreams, and how everybody will have around 4 dreams a night, because of the sleep cycle, but you will only remember the last one or two dreams usually. It was interesting learning about all that shit. I could go on and on, but I will spare you. Very fascinating though.

[Ran]

Does anyone else get the feeling that anarky thinks he is The Grin while he is sleeping?:thegrin:

[jjreason]

Luckily for you, I've still got your sister's juice all over my dick so it's all greased up."

OMG LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




:oyes:

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

First, and this one's just weird. In the dream, I'm not me. You know how that goes. I go into this room where there are two hot sisters. I tell them I'm going to fuck them. One is all gung ho about it, and the other says no. But I'm fucking the first one, and the second one sees how her sister's liking it, and asks me to do her next. So I tell her, "You have to be punished for saying no, bitch, so no foreplay. Luckily for you, I've still got your sister's juice all over my dick so it's all greased up."

Hey! Somehow, MY memories are getting into YOUR dreams!

Weird.

[anarky]

Dreamed about a movie last night.

In it, Fry, Leela, and Dr Zoidberg were hanging out with Barack Obama in Israel. Barack thought it would be funny to sneak into Syria. So they did. Suddenly, I was with them, even though I was in Ohio or some other state I've never been to, rooming with a college friend, hosting my entire family, and baking cookies on electric blankets throughout the house.

So they snuck over, and so did I, and everyone thought it was funny. Until we realized we couldn't get back. So Agent Stan Smith shows up, and I say, "It'd be really fucking funny to cast Seth McFarlane as him in this live-action movie since that's who plays him in the cartoon." So we get out of Syria with the help of Murdoch (William Shatner from Airplane II--I saw that earlier, so I suppose that's why--still no explanation for Ted Striker in the other dream), who's now a general and bestselling cookbook author. And we are hanging out in this one room, and Kif (who shows up out of nowhere but has supposedly been with us this whole time) pulls Zoidberg aside and explains that, after the nuclear holocaust that destroyed life on earth shortly after the events of Futurama, Zoidberg's mutated spawn slowly evolved into Kif's species. So, apparently, Kif was from another show, or something.

It was weird. More weird than funny this time, I'm afraid.

[anarky]

Really weird one last night, involving such things as walking in on Stephen Colbert shaving in his private bathroom that's adjacent to George Lucas' apartment (which turns out is a huge French square, complete with hot French women).

Anyway, the Star Wars part of it, since what I recall of the rest is really disjointed: Colbert had brought me and a bunch of people from my high school to New York to take a test and let us come on his show the night before. There, he debuted two bits from the Clone Wars cartoon.

The first was poorly hand-drawn (think the video to "Take On Me" with some crayons thrown in for color) of some badass fighting Vader by just standing there and throwing sticks. Vader says, "Oh yeah?" and starts throwing the sticks back. The other guy catches them. They go back and forth, and, when Vader is throwing the sticks the second time, he puts a lit lightsaber in the mix. It cuts off the guy's head. Vader says, "I got you now, bitch."

The second was live-action. It was in what appeared to be the Roman Collisseum. Boba Fett and two other Mandalores in Jango armor (but no helmets) were apparently being challenged/trained by Vader. One guy stood on a pedastal and leaned over, and Vader tried to knock him down with the Force. He couldn't. Boba (played by Temuera Morrison) said it was because the Mandalores were cool like that. Vader said, "How does one become cool like that?" The second Mandalore (who looked like John Travolta) said they'd show him later, and then they went to lunch. The third turned to the screen for a totally gratuitous look into the camera; it was Dengar. He said, "I'm in the Clone Wars! Look for my action figure third quarter of 2008!"

Oh, and the reason everyone thought this bit sucked: Vader was a Mexican guy in a red shirt. There was no explanation. Colbert himself was trying to figure out how that happened.

[Diabolical]

I had a dream that involved Cappy a week or two ago.

I was at home about to head to the comic shop when Cappy showed up, and he decided to go with me. When we got there the store (which was on the other side of the street for some reason and set up totally different inside) was closed and there was a line of 20 or so people outside waiting to get in. A little pissed (think Brodie in Mallrats) I want to know why they're closed and I can't get my comics. A few people in line look at us like I'm retarded and say its because of the signing. "What signing" I demanded. "Lou Ferigno! He should be here any minute. They just went across the street to get him." I look across the street, where my comic shop usually is, and there is a very Lanny-looking dive bar. Moments later, a fairly drunk Lou Ferigno (in a Hulk-colored green t-shirt) stumbles out, helped along by two guys, and crosses the street. We finally get inside and I get my comics, while Cappy gets Lou's autograph and a photo. Then Lou and the owner get annoyed with me because I don't want a photo or autograph. And that is it.

The weird thing is I've had different dreams about this particular false version of my comic shop before - Like its a recurring location in my dreams that I've never been to.

[mabudon]

I told Cappy about a dream I had a week or two ago as well, where it was one o' them totally realistic dreams- I was sitting at my PC just as I am when I type this, and a knock comes at the door and it's Cappy and he offers up this ridiculous explanation about how he was going somewhere totally elsewheres but rationalized a route that made a drop-in possible

We had a few beers and shot the shit and I kept mentioning how odd it was that he would just drop by

[anarky]

I had a weird one last night. I don't remember why, but I was going to a bachelor's party for a dude I don't even really know (and who probably doesn't exist). A college friend of mind opened the door, wearing what I can only call a dildofish costume. Meaning it was a fish costume, only the head of the fish was definitely not a fish's head, if you know where I'm going with this. And, though he wasn't gay, he was drunk, and had decided it was his duty as the wearer or the dildofish costume, to dry hump every man he saw.

[vynsane]

holy fuck, 'dildofish' - awesome...