the vynsane asylum

anarky wrote:Yeah, I thought that list was super-duper horseshit. I could come up with some reason almost every fucking one was wrong:

1) Shipwreck was. TEH. SHIT! Show me someone who doesn't like Shipwreck, like this dude, and I'll show you someone who doesn't like GIJoe.
2) Lifeline may have been a pacifist, but, well, he replaced Doc in the toyline. The pacifist medic is more realistic than one who will pop caps; Doc's filecard didn't say he was a non-combatant, but he was always portrayed as one. Plus, there's a fucking awesome issue of Special Missions where Leatherneck (I think) takes the same attitude of Lifeline being a piece of pacifist crap who won't do anything, then he unloads some tai chi (I think--a totally non-aggressive martial art he's a master of) and beats the shit out of some river pirates, saving the entire team. Lifeline and/or Doc were absolutely necessary for those of us who took the bios seriously and played violently with our Joes.

3) Tollbooth was fucking lame, granted, but he came with the goddamned Bridgelayer. One of the most pointless vehicles in the Joe toyline, but one with a shitload of play value. Did you ever see that thing? It's fucking awesome; basically a construction vehicle given military credibility.

4) Every seven-year-old knew what a mine detector was. At least myself and every kid I knew. Even if it was just "a metal detector that finds mines that will blow up if you step on them," we knew. And we always had Cobra laying a shit-ton of mines. Not to mention the filecard says Tripwire's the explosives expert, and he has mines in his backpack, so we all figured he laid the fuckers, too. The way we played, one of those tiny plastic discs could destroy a HISS and kill everyone on board.

5) Airtight... dude, the guy was awesome! His filecard said he was the nerd; we could all look up to him. And, well, nothing actually says the thing he has is a vacuum, so it was always a toxic waster launcher to us.
6) Law has a fucking dog. And he's a military cop. I never figured him as arresting drunk Joes; he and his awesome-ass dog were military cops who were so damned good at what they did, they got to be on the Joe team. They're the legal experts when it comes to busting criminals.
7) Dial-Tone was also necessary (unless you had Breaker), since regular Joes didn't carry communications equipment. A small group had to get captured, and Dial-Tone got the word out for the main force to open a can of whoopass on the Cobras. That was as vital to our games as starting out on Cybertron and winding up on Earth was for our Transformers games.
Mainframe.... Okay, that one I can't argue against. Breaker could do everything he could do better, and had a gun. At least one in a holster, made onto his leg.

BTW, Snake Eyes, in case you are wondering: swords in scabbards fit in his backpack hole and on his belt, on the right. The leg holster holds only the pistol that won't accommodate a silencer (the one that will is too loose). However, the silencer will fit in the small hole in the front of the holster. You figured out anything else? I really wish they included picture reference or instructions or something.