Football

[Ran]

In high school I did a project for English Class where I decided to recreate a newspaper from the 1920s or 30s (I think it had something to do with either The Great Gatsby or The Glass Menagerie). While I was doing the project, I found out that the then St. Louis Cardinals started in Chicago before moving to St. Louis. Anyway, the Cardinals have now more or less sucked for 102 years in 3 different cities.

[Tom Foolery]

The Immaculate Reception. 50 years ago. I’m dubious that ball didn’t touch the ground, but it happened before I was born, so who the fuck cares at this point.

[Tom Foolery]

Oh my god. Fuck the Vikings and fuck the Jets. Just need you assholes to do this one fucking thing and win your games this week, and you’re both playing like bumbling fucking amateurs.

I mean, the Vikings don’t matter since we’d have to beat GB at home either way. But the Jets losing means our fate is in the hands of the clusterfuck Rams and Baker fucking Mayfield. Press X for Doubt.

[Tom Foolery]

It’s like Lucy VanPelt and her football every time.

[jjreason]

I'm sure I just felt greater Detroit let out a collective moan from nearly 150 miles away. Ugh.

Now to find out if they're pissed off enough to try & fuck the Packers' chances, or if they're plain old depressed & don't give a shit. I wouldn't blame them, honestly.

[Tom Foolery]

I'm sure I just felt greater Detroit let out a collective moan from nearly 150 miles away. Ugh.

And moments before they had collectively whooped when that field goal doinked and they still had a chance.

Now to find out if they're pissed off enough to try & fuck the Packers' chances, or if they're plain old depressed & don't give a shit. I wouldn't blame them, honestly.

I know I’m not invested in the game as much as I would’ve been. But I can see this year’s team still fighting just to stick it to GB.

[Tom Foolery]

Okay, that was satisfying. Ya think Rogers is calling it a career?

Of the teams that made it to the playoffs, here’s who I’m rooting for from least to most;

AFC
7. Chiefs. Perpetual over dogs. The team everybody roots for to get beat.
6. Ravens. Shame on them for not giving Lamar the deal he deserves. I hope he leaves first chance he gets. Fuck ‘em.
5. Dolphins. Mediocre team clumsily tripped into the playoffs.
4. Chargers. They’ve only been in one SB and didn’t win. But it’s not their year. Sorry, Herbert.
3. Jaguars. They’ve never even been in a SB, but it’s also not their year. Sorry, Trevor.
2. Bengals. Missed out three times. They deserve another chance after losing out last year.
1. Bills. They are getting soooo close. It’s their time. Bills Mafia!!!!

NFC

7a. Eagles.
7b. Cowboys. Both these teams have pretentious douchey fanbases. Fuck em both.
5. Giants. They’ve been to the SB five times, and won four of them. Let somebody else win.
4a. Seahawks. The Geno Smith story is a good one, but they’ve been in three SBs already, and won one.
4b. Niners. As an Iowan, the Brock Purdy story would be cool, but they’ve been seven times and won five.
2. Tom Brady. Hear me out. He wins one last SB and retires for real. If he doesn’t win, he’s gonna keep playing until he’s sixty because Peyton Manning threw shade at him for not going out on top like he did.
1. Vikings. Yeah, they’re division rivals, but like the Bills they’ve missed out four times and are due.

If it comes down to Bills/Vikings, I’m rooting for Buffalo.

[jjreason]

Buffalo for me. One of my old university roommates is a Bills lifer & I had to live with him through 3 of the 4 Superbowl losses. If/when the day comes that the Bills win the Superbowl, even if they beat the Bears or Lions, I will have to be at least a little bit happy about it in honor of old Stitchy.

[Tom Foolery]

Would it be better to not make it to the College Championship like Ohio and Michigan didn’t, if it meant not getting a magnificently embarrassing beatdown like TCU did?

[jjreason]

Hmm. Tough one.

The only team that gave Georgia a test was (and I fucking hate to say it) Ohio State. The Buckeyes proved beyond any shadow of a doubt they were the right team to invite as the #4. I think that Michigan would have gotten lit up against Georgia, but not quite as badly as TCU did. Sadly we'll never know.

[Diabolical]

But the good news is neither Michigan and Ohio State made it.

[jjreason]

The Big 10 is now 3-7 all time in Final Four games. ><

Only the SEC (of course) and the ACC (aka "Clemson") have won more games than they've lost in the playoff.

[Ran]

If it comes down to Bills/Vikings, I’m rooting for Buffalo.

Me too.

[Tom Foolery]

A Chiefs/Eagles Superbowl is the least interesting match up of the remaining teams.

Either the Giants or the Cowboys would be rematches for the Bills in three of their four losses back in the 90’s.

Bengals vs Niners would be their third matchup after the ‘81 and ‘88 SBs.

[Ran]

A Chiefs/Eagles Superbowl is the least interesting match up of the remaining teams.

Either the Giants or the Cowboys would be rematches for the Bills in three of their four losses back in the 90’s.

Bengals vs Niners would be their third matchup after the ‘81 and ‘88 SBs.

I'm quite well aware of who the Bills lost to in those Super Bowls. When that 30 for 30 on the Bills came out, I recorded, but it took me 8 months to bring myself to watch it.

Completely forgot Cincy and the 49ers played again in '88. Random story...We moved from New York to Maryland when I was part way through 3rd grade. I think it was in 4th grade, the father of one of the girls in my class was a coach at Maryland. He and a few players came to visit our school. They signed a piece of my notebook paper. One of the players that signed that piece of notebook paper was Boomer Esiason. He was the QB for the Bengals in 1988.

Tomorrow, I'll have the Bills game on, but I'll be pacing around the room and not talking to anyone(except maybe for the TV). Pretty sure those 4 Super Bowl losses gave me some sort of PTSD.