the vynsane asylum

A thought has occurred to me: the "coolness" of names used in comics is totally unrealistic.

Think about it for a while. You have names that are totally obvious, like Batman or Spider-Man. You have the "add an O" formula, for guys like Magneto. You have totally over the top names, like Doctor Doom, and names that are pretty mundane if you think about it, like Two-Face or Red Skull. And names that sound like something out of the mind of a dummy, like, uh, Anarky.

I propose to you that those are the only names that are realistic. Cool names like Venom, Bane, Daredevil, Vision, etc, etc, are, as cool as they sound to the reader, horseshit.

Why? Because writers get paid to come up with cool names. Unless every character with his own comic is a writer or comic geek, he is just an ordinary guy, and will use an obvious, mundane, corny, or dumb name.

Whenever you see one of these rare idiots in real life who think they're a hero or villain, they always go by "Captain Hero" or "Amazing Man" or "Professor Chaos" (in spite of the obvious South Park joke).

Venom should be Black Spider. Daredevil should be Ninjaman.

Okay, I'm not seriously saying that it should be that way, but have you ever considered this point?

Well, it took me about 3.7 reads of your post to actually get my head around what you were saying.... does that count as considering?

I think it's feasible that someone might come up with a name like "Venom" or "Daredevil" to do some vigilantism (I tried that word until the spell check let me go with it, but I'm quite sure it's still wrong) - the people who come up with real-life superhero names are, after all, either crazy or retarded.... other real-life superhero wannabes shouldn't have to hold themselves down to those standards.

Daredevil would have been "Deadeye" and people would have thought it meant he was a really good aim.

Vision would have been Android-Man. And they would have called him "Andy" (Which they later did with Awesome Android, who now works with She-Hulk as a paralegal.)

Hawkeye would have been Arrowman. Or Shaft. But then everyone would have thought Richard Roundtree was an Avenger.

Bane would've been ummmm....well, they could have called him Venom after the drug he was using. Or Nemesis. Or he would've dispensed with the theatrics and called him self Sénor Ortega or whatever the hell his name is.

Take the case of Blackbolt. His real name is Blackagar Boltagon. No shit. That is fucking dumb no matter how you peel it off the apple.

As time goes on, it's harder to come up with cool original names. The [Avatar]-Man style is all but used up with the cool animals or whatever. You'd be getting down into Cricket Man and Beaver Man and Ocelot Man. No fun there. I also surmise that writers are reluctant to use a "cool" name not knowing whether the character will take off or become a one-off.

I made up a bunch of characters back in 1988-1991 and I'm surprised not more of the names have been used in the intervening 20 years.