the vynsane asylum

lAST YEAR, WHEN MY ASSOCIATE bIZZARO tHE gRIP AND i WENT TO MOUNT sANTA cLAUS (ON ACCOUNT OF HIM BEING "fATHER cHRISTMAS" AND, THEREFORE, A FATHER), WE WOUND UP MAKING A DEAL WITH HIM. sEE, HE'S SORT OF THIS LESSER GOD, AND IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA TO BUTTFUCK SUCH A BEING WITHOUT HIS EXPRESS PERMISSION. sO WE AGREED TO LAY OFF HIS SWEET, SUMPTUOUS ASS IN EXCHANGE FOR THE UNPRECEDENTED RIGHT TO MAKE SWEET, SWEET LOVE TO A MAN WHO IS NOT A FATHER. tHE ONLY CONDITION, sANTA SAID, WAS THAT THE PERSON HAD TO BE jEWISH. tURNS OUT ALL THE ORIGIN STORIES OF cHRISTMAS AND hANNUKAH ARE BULLSHIT, AND IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO cHRISTMAS BEING SANTA'S BIRTHDAY AND HE'S AN ANTI-SEMITE THAT WOULD MAKE mEL gIBSON BLUSH MORE THAN WHEN bIZZARO tHE gRIP DRESSES HIM UP AS A BABY AND FILLS HIS DIAPER WITH HIS "ESPICY ESALSA." aND WE COULD ONLY RAVAGE SAID jEW'S SWEET, SWEET ASS DURING hANNUKAH.

wE WEREN'T SURE WHO TO PICK. tHE ONLY jEWISH PERSON WE KNEW OF HERE WAS mELVIN gIBSTEIN, WHO HASN'T POSTED IN FOREVER, AND WHO'S A FATHER ANYWAY. bUT THEN YOU POSTED THAT BIT ABOUT sCOTT wEILAND'S cHRISTMAS ALBUM. cLEARLY, ONLY A jEWISH PERSON WOULD LISTEN TO THAT SHIT.

sO WE MIGHT BE A DAY LATE, BUT sANTA SAID THAT'D BE FINE. wE ARE GOING TO LOVE YOUR ASSHOLE IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE.

iNSTEAD OF ONE DAY OF ANAL PENETRATION WITH OUR BIG BLACK DICKS AND AND VARIOUS LAWN FURNITURE, YOU'LL GET (ALTOGETHER NOW!) EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS!

sO YOU MIGHT WANT TO LET YOUR WIFE KNOW YOU'LL NEED A PILLOW TO SIT ON DURING THE DAY, BECAUSE YOUR ASS IS GOING TO BE SORE. tHINK OF THE TWO OF US AS "tHE bLUE bALLS bROTHERS." aND, JUST SO YOU DON'T WORRY, OUR JIZZ IS GLUTEN-FREE. oF COURSE, WE'RE GOING TO FEED YOU WHEAT ANYWAY, BECAUSE bIZZARO tHE gRIP HAS THIS REALLY TWISTED FETISH FOR FOLKS WHO SWELL UP WITH ALLERGIES.

oH, i'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THE PLEASURES WE WILL DERIVE FROM YOUR SWEET, SWEET ASS.

bUT THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, SO BE GENTLE. i'VE NEVER FUCKED A NON-FATHER BEFORE.

Oh, man, you're in for a world of hurt, Diabolical. The visits from Bizarro The Group hurt like fucking hell at first, until your asshole is distended enough. And they plan to cram a lifetime worth of ass-abuse into only eight days. Ouch!

You mind if I film this? It'll work in really well in my new documentary about the Tea Party.

Santa Claus wrote:I am here to back up Bizarro The Grin's cunty claim to your ass.

We'll see if you start posting shit about me being a "bad Santa" on the Facebox. Mess up my chances with the ladies, you did.

Enjoy that Joker-looking motherfucker ramming all twelve inches of his diseased cock into your every orifice.

Ho ho ho.

Or, as you'll be saying shortly, "Oh, oh, oh, MY FUCKING ASS HURTS!!"

WELCOME BACK, SANTA.

TELL ME.
WHAT'S MORE HUMILIATING.
YOU GETTING PWNED BY HOUSEWIVES IN THOSE BEST BUY ADS?
OR SHILLING FOR CAR COMPANIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS?

YOU FUCKING HACK.


OH AND FUCK YOU TWIKI.

YOU DIPSHITBOT.

How dare you!

yOU KNOW gRIMLOCK AND rEASON AND rOLLO tOMASSI
aNTROPOV AND aNARKY AND tHE cOW, WHO IS SASSY
bUT DO YOU RECALL
tHE FORUMITE WHO LOVES TO SUCK MY BALLS?

dIABOLICAL, THE RED-ASSED vYNSANIAC
hAD A VERY BLOODY CRACK
bECAUSE bIZZARO tHE gRIP
sHOVED HIS DICK IN UP TO THE TIP
aLL OF THE OTHER FORUMITES
uSED TO LAUGH AT HIS BLOODY ASS
tHEY DIDN'T THINK HE'D BEEN BUTTFUCKED
tHEY THOUGHT HE'D SAT ON BROKEN GLASS
tHEN ONE FOGGY hANNUKAH NIGHT
bIZARRO tHE gRIN CAME TO FUCK HIM
wHILE WEARING HIS sPIDER-mAN COSTUME
oH, WHAT A LOVELY SIGHT!
tHEN HOW dIABOLICAL LOVED IT
aND HE SAID, "bIZARRO tHE gRIN, YOU ROCK!
cOME HERE, YOU FUCKING BASTARD
aND LET ME SUCK YOUR BIG, BLACK COCK!"

dIABOLICAL WILL SOON KNOW IT IS cHRISTMAS. tHERE WON'T BE SNOW, UNLESS YOU COUNT ALL THE DRIED JIZZ IN HIS HAIR. tHE GREATEST GIFT HE'LL GET IS MY BIG, BLACK DICK. iT'S HARD, AND i'M HAVING FUN.

oH, bIZZARO tHE gRIP IS GOING TO HOLD HIM DOWN, AND i'M GOING TO PLAY "fEED tHE wORLD." dIABOLICAL WILL PLAY THE WORLD, AND MY BIG, BLACK DICK WILL BE THE RELIEF WORKERS.

aLL THE REST OF YOU: TONIGHT, THANK gOD IT'S HIM INSTEAD OF YOU.

i MET A MAN NAMED bIZZARO tHE gRIP AND HE WAS HEADING FOR
dIABOLICAL'S SWEET, SWEET ANAL PIE
aS FOR ME, i'M LOOKING FORWARD TO db'S AWESOME DICK-KISSES
fROM HIS ANUS TO HIS PIEHOLE,
gEE, HIS ORIFICES ARE TERRIFIC!

cHRISTMAS, cHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE
tIME FOR PLOWING dIABOLICAL'S REAR
wE'VE BEEN GOOD, BUT WE WON'T LAST
cAN'T WAIT TO FUCK HIS SWEET, SWEET ASS
wE WANT A PLANE THAT LOOPS THE LOOP
(mE, i WANT TO SLIDE MY DICK IN dIABOLICAL'S POOP)
wE CAN HARDLY STAND TO WAIT
wITH dIABOLICAL WE'RE GOING TO MATE!

Since Diabolical refuses to read any thread started by characters, he's probably not sure why his ass hurts.