Someone stole my sandwich!

Tycho · Post by **Tycho** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:03 pm

You guys are never going to believe this:

Earlier today, I made myself a sandwich. It was going to be a good one: turkey, cheese, lettuce, and a tomato, along with some condiments. (Ha! I love that word. It'd like "condom" and "mints" combined!)

I decided to watch more of my Smallville DVDs so I could jerk off to Lana Lang, and -- you'll never believe this -- my sandwich was gone!

My only rational conclusion was that the nigger in the apartment below mine came up and ate it. I hate that fucking piece of shit. When I become ruler of the world, I'm going to kill all the niggers who live in my apartment building, and they'll never be able to steal my sandwiches ever again.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:10 pm

Jeepers, Tycho. That's too bad. It was probably the same guy that stole your underwear. Did you ever file a police report for that?

Tycho · Post by **Tycho** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:26 pm

No, Rogue II, it turned out that I had only misplaced my underwear. I was just being silly. Didn't you read the entire thread?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:31 pm

Usually, I lose interest in your posts after the second paragraph. Reading a whole thread by you is completely out of the question.

The Goat · Post by **The Goat** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:32 pm

BAAA!!!

Slicker · Post by **Slicker** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:56 pm

I really fucking hope you don't find the sammich under the cushion a month later...

captain funtime · Post by **captain funtime** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:52 pm

Maybe you shoved it in your ass you fuckin pussy.

Tycho · Post by **Tycho** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:01 pm

Uh oh. Well, I guess the joke's on me.

This morning when I took my daily shit, I sniffed it (as I always sniff everything) and I could detect hints of my sandwich yesterday. It turns out I actually ate the sandwich.

Now I really wish I hadn't keyed my neighbor's car and killed his dog.

Boner Mazo · Post by **Boner Mazo** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:46 pm

lol u dum fuk lol

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 11:12 am

Hey, Tycho. How do you feel about the word "carp."

Mrs Funtime · Post by **Mrs Funtime** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 1:16 am

captain funtime wrote:Maybe you shoved it in your ass you fuckin pussy.

Roy, can't you ever play nice with the poor retarded kids here? And why is shoving a sandwich in one's butthole such a bad thing? When The Grip and The Grin stopped by earlier while you were at work, I wished they'd never stop shoving sandwiches in mine. Those guys make me feel like a dirty whore, and goddamn, it feels good! Much better than you and your 2-inch "erectile disfunction."

Darth Vader · Post by **Darth Vader** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 11:51 am

Tycho wrote: Now I really wish I hadn't keyed my neighbor's car and killed his dog.

I hope you had one of your commanders tear this neighbor's car and apartment apart while you interrogated him. You don't kill the dog until after he confesses. Don't forget to fake the distress signal, either.

Dell Rusk · Post by **Dell Rusk** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 9:19 pm

i stole ur sandwitch + i 8 it + it was good u faggit ass faggit!

Slicker · Post by **Slicker** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:04 am

I don't think your definitions of "sandwich" are the same, Dell.

Tycho's Definition:

Pastromi on rye

Dell's Definition:

Cock

emperordaddypants · Post by **emperordaddypants** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 6:32 am

YOUR SANDWICH IS DOOMED!!!