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Someone stole my sandwich!
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:03 pm
by Tycho
You guys are never going to believe this:
Earlier today, I made myself a sandwich. It was going to be a good one: turkey, cheese, lettuce, and a tomato, along with some condiments. (Ha! I love that word. It'd like "condom" and "mints" combined!)
I decided to watch more of my Smallville DVDs so I could jerk off to Lana Lang, and -- you'll never believe this -- my sandwich was gone!
My only rational conclusion was that the nigger in the apartment below mine came up and ate it. I hate that fucking piece of shit. When I become ruler of the world, I'm going to kill all the niggers who live in my apartment building, and they'll never be able to steal my sandwiches ever again.
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:10 pm
by Ran
Jeepers, Tycho. That's too bad. It was probably the same guy that stole your underwear. Did you ever file a police report for that?
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:26 pm
by Tycho
No, Rogue II, it turned out that I had only misplaced my underwear. I was just being silly. Didn't you read the entire thread?
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:31 pm
by Ran
Usually, I lose interest in your posts after the second paragraph. Reading a whole thread by you is completely out of the question.
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:32 pm
by The Goat
BAAA!!!
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:56 pm
by Slicker
I really fucking hope you don't find the sammich under the cushion a month later...
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:52 pm
by captain funtime
Maybe you shoved it in your ass you fuckin pussy.
Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:01 pm
by Tycho
Uh oh. Well, I guess the joke's on me.
This morning when I took my daily shit, I sniffed it (as I always sniff everything) and I could detect hints of my sandwich yesterday. It turns out I actually ate the sandwich.
Now I really wish I hadn't keyed my neighbor's car and killed his dog.
Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:46 pm
by Boner Mazo
lol u dum fuk lol
Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 11:12 am
by Ran
Hey, Tycho. How do you feel about the word "carp."
Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 1:16 am
by Mrs Funtime
captain funtime wrote:Maybe you shoved it in your ass you fuckin pussy.
Roy, can't you ever play nice with the poor retarded kids here? And why is shoving a sandwich in one's butthole such a bad thing? When The Grip and The Grin stopped by earlier while you were at work, I wished they'd never stop shoving sandwiches in mine. Those guys make me feel like a dirty whore, and goddamn, it feels good! Much better than you and your 2-inch "erectile disfunction."
Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 11:51 am
by Darth Vader
Tycho wrote:
Now I really wish I hadn't keyed my neighbor's car and killed his dog.
I hope you had one of your commanders tear this neighbor's car and apartment apart while you interrogated him. You don't kill the dog until after he confesses. Don't forget to fake the distress signal, either.
Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 9:19 pm
by Dell Rusk
i stole ur sandwitch + i 8 it + it was good u faggit ass faggit!
Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:04 am
by Slicker
I don't think your definitions of "sandwich" are the same, Dell.
Tycho's Definition:
Pastromi on rye
Dell's Definition:
Cock
Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 6:32 am
by emperordaddypants
YOUR SANDWICH IS DOOMED!!!